Life of an English Hen

Lots of Hard Work.

2010-04-25T23:31:00.003+09:00

As I have just completed all the essays (except the dissertation) for my course, I am happy to share what I've been learning with friends so as not to hog all the new knowledge!

Just as an overview, my MA in Intercultural Studies in Asian Contexts at Redcliffe College, 2009-2010 consists of five modules:

• Method and Content in Missiological Study
• Postcolonialism and Globalisation
• Crucial Issues in Asian Mission
• Encountering Buddhism
• the Dissertation

As well as participating in lectures on these topics, I also have had to write essays. As I have just completed all these except the dissertation, I am happy to share what I've been learning with friends. Therefore if we are already friends, and if you want to read any of them or talk about them let me know. The titles of what I've been doing are below.

*Method and Content in Missiological Study

Prepare a written account of how you would construct and write a research dissertation investigating a subject or theme of your choosing from within the discipline of applied theology.
(4500 words)
December 2009.

How would a theology of the kingdom of God contribute towards changing the church’s understanding of the goal of mission?
(4500 words)
January 2010.

*Postcolonialism and Globalisation

Many observers are concerned about the effects of globalisation on the poor. Evaluate the arguments from a Christian perspective.
(4500 words)
December 2009.

Select one film and one literary work that illustrate postcolonial themes.(I chose Barack Obama's Dreams from my Father book, and the film Rabbit Proof Fence); Explain why you have made these selections by describing themes.
What relevance do these have to contemporary mission?
(4500 words) November 2009.

*Crucial Issues in Asian Mission

What are the influences of global and traditional culture in the lives of today’s Japanese young adults, and how should these influence the Western Christian missionary in relating to Japanese young adults?
April 23rd, 2010
Essay (4500 words)

A Book Review of Kishore Mahbubani’s ‘The New Asian Hemisphere: The irresistible shift of global power to the east. ’
April 23rd, 2010
Book Review (2000 words)

Ancestor Care in Japan
1st April 2010
Presentation Handout

Engaging with the Japanese indigenous churches:Why did the Japanese indigenous church arise, and what useful engagement can we have with the indigenous churches in our countries of calling?
March 2010
Presentation Handout

*Encountering Buddhism

An analysis of the Buddhist belief of no-self and a brief Christian response.
February 25th, 2010
Short Essay (2000 words)
‘Analyse a practice or belief within Buddhism, offering a brief Christian response’

Analysis of some Points of Contact between Pure Land Buddhism and Christianity
April 12th, 2010
Long Essay (4500 words)
‘Discuss the key beliefs and/or practices of a school of Buddhism and identify
points of contact with Christianity.’

The practice of the transmission of the Buddhist faith in the Heian period in Japan
Monday 15th March, 2010.
Presentation Handout.

*Dissertation

An investigation into the factors contributing to the differences in internationalization of the regional staff teams of two selected Christian organisations which both hold a mission focus.
to be submitted August 23, 2010.

Cleaning Shoes

2010-01-08T02:16:00.003+09:00

My dad used to clean my shoes. Most weeks while I was living at home, at school it happened, and once even when I was again briefly living at home, aged 31. I would come down in the morning and there my clean shoes would be, sitting neatly and black-again on the doormat, or I'd see him in the evening out in the cold utility room brushing away. And that is one thing I praise my dad for, and love him for.

Now what kind of polish do I need to buy, anyone?!

Japanese salaryman come Christian?

2009-11-23T03:06:00.002+09:00

Today I read a whole book: 'The Blue-Eyed Salaryman: From World Traveler to lifer at Mitsubishi' by Niall Murtagh. Someone in mum's walking group (with a son living in Japan) had lent it to her, she had passed in onto me(who had been living out there), and finally I've sat down to read it...and loved it.

It's reminded me of my time so far in Japan, made me laugh out loud at the author's humour over the many obscure rules in his company and ways he found to break some of them, and try and imagine how the gospel would force or not force a Japanese salaryman to change were it to take root in his life. At Redcliffe College I am learning how we shouldn't approach other cultures as 'less than' if not our own, as we often do when a culture is not Western and 'our' values. In a bid to think through how this culture matches with the gospel, I've started with listing some of the characteristics of Japanese salarymen as shown in the book, and then tried to think how Jesus might see these, from what I know of him in the Bible. Here goes:

Mistubishi salaryman life and Christian implications
* = Japanese-salaryman trait;
+ = my considered Christian response to it

*Ordered – start-time and end-time
+Orderly Christian life is OK, but need dependence on the Holy Spirit for direction of work

*Structured – working in teams
+Working in teams is how Jesus organised his disciples, and some after the resurrection had to report back to James and the council of elders at the sending church

*Obedient – to authority
+The Bible encourages respecting those in authority over us

*Protective – of one’s own
+Great! ‘Do good to all, especially to those who belong in the family of believers’, although sometimes these may clash with sole-company-loyalties in which case there may be trouble.

*Merciful – to those within the company who fall ill such as the mentally ill man
+Great – share in each other’s joys and sorrows, and help the weak.

*Ruthless –not being allowed time off work at the wrong time of year
+Jesus was sometimes ruthless too – saying don’t let your hand look back at the plough. But Christians need to have a different priority base – putting Jesus and the kingdom and their Christian witness first.

*Generous – bonuses and time away in Okinawa
+We see Jesus being generous with those who gathered around him – such as feeding the 5000, and retreating with some disciples. Other times he tells them not to sleep but to pray. I think these bonuses are ok though.

*Inflexible – have to think beyond the individual and so submit to company decisions
+Group culture often one of Acts and OT sometimes too. Servanthood – the widow who gives her all. Jesus as a servant of others.

*Flexible – start-date for the author (as a foreigner)
+Kind – working with people’s cultures.

*Way of doing things – like bowing and wearing the name badge
+Cultural facets. They’re fine, they're not interfering with the gospel.

*Discussion-based – lots of meetings for feedback, organised by an appointed leader
+Fine, as long as it leads to action. Jesus taught his followers about the kingdom, and discussed theology, and also went out and healed people. If the group time makes people feel included and active then that is great, as long as it also leads to changes and action.

*Age-conscious- promotion and pay sometimes based on age and length of time in the company rather that ability or drive.
+That’s OK; prob similar to OT and many non-western cultures. Be careful of this in multi-cultural teams though (eg Koreans and Westerners working together, as Westerns will likely not respect this whereas Koreans will.)

*Respect for late-workers
+Work is not the only thing – family is also important, as part of a holistic lifestyle. Company workers shouldn’t think of the culture as everything and as of pinnacle importance – their faith should be more so, and how they treat their family, their neighbour and themselves.

Learning, bit by bit

2009-06-06T19:20:00.002+09:00

Here are some things God is leading me to think about at the moment, and be changed by:

1. Prayer
My prayer life, for the past 8 years, has been largely self-centred, albeit led by the Spirit and every-moment-edness. At this staff conference I was inspired to take up my role as being co-worker with God himself; not in twisting God's arm for a change of events nationally, internationally, locally or personally, but actually creating anew the future. This is what it means for us to be co-creators with God, (as Patrick Johnstone taught us).

2. Sex
Love and the expression of that love is an area I am also growing in. I always presumed sex was something you did (in marriage) when you felt like it. However I haven't always 'felt' like it as much as I had expected to. Therefore my other reason became for my husband in particular to not be unfulfilled, (notice the double negative; not a very positive reason!) However I have now discovered a whole new meaning for sex - for the benefit of the relationship. I was talking to my Brazilian friend about this and was very much inspired by her and her husband's views and priority of this aspect of their marriage. So now I see sex as something for mutual and joint benefit, (for joining emotionally and physically, as well as for fun),and an important part of marriage, not an extra determined only by physical lust or fear of failing each other.

3. Church history and in particular monastic communities.
In Japan I met through my language classes Sister Nona, a Catholic sister from the Philippines, and we became friends. In fact we had lots in common. I would like to learn more about these type of communities in the old days, which I have been told were founded in order to be missional. I plan to research about them on the internet and write up some notes.

love Me xx

Life Update

2009-04-20T17:31:00.004+09:00

Simon and I are in the UK for about a year-and-a-half; first of all to adjust to newly married life (it's happening day by day!), and secondly to pursue some mission-studies. From September that'll take the shape of a one-year Masters course at Redcliffe College, Gloucester, for me. The title of that is MA in Intercultural Studies in Asian Contexts. Meanwhile, an MA in Global Leadership at Redcliffe has caught Simon's eye; finances-permitting, he will do that one from September. After our studies we plan to return to Japan to further church-planting, and gospel-spreading. Before our course here starts, we are on the WEC South-West and South Wales regional team, speaking in CUs, churches and youth groups about God's call to mission, and helping people (especially young people) find their place in that. That's us in an nutshell for now; how about you?!

Hurting People

2009-04-09T20:38:00.002+09:00

Only a few times in my life have I really offended someone to the point of them really not wanting to continue friendship with me. The first time was when I was 11; I was in Miss Spooner’s 1Y class, and we had all recently passed the 11-plus. I was put in a project team with Amanda, who up until that point in my life had been my best friend, and we were to do a project on Barnstaple together. Except about one week before the project had to be completed, I dumped Amanda, thinking that she had done no work on it whereas I had done loads. The reality was, if I remember rightly, that actually my sister, nine years my senior, had done loads on the same topic for her GCSE project, and I had nicked the lot. After that time, mine and A’s friendship was never the same.

The second happened last year in Kyoto, where, not least due to a number of complicating factors in our lives, me and another friend 'G' parted company on very painful terms. And on Facebook today, on seeing another girl's name pop up on someone's page, I am reminded of another couple of young international girls in Kyoto, who could barely be bothered to give me the time of day – I don’t think because I had done anything wrong in their eyes, but I simply wasn’t their ‘type’ of person.

These latter ones hurt me, and still do. Partly because I don’t believe I was wholly in the wrong, and feel reduced in worth through their attitudes. Also because I am hurt about the places I was in the wrong and hurt them. And sometimes I am frustrated because I just lacked the courage or know-how to know what to do to be friends with them. I still don’t really. But I have learned something.

I have learned that you cannot please everybody, and not everyone will like us; that even our most gallant efforts sometimes aren’t good enough, and that sometimes people won’t forgive you for mistakes. And that is why we stick with those who do love us and forgive us (like my husband), we rub shoulders in intended friendly harmony with those who don’t (like the girls above), and we don’t let our lives hang on the ones that simply don’t work out – or can’t under the circumstances they found themselves. (But that is the voice of one talking today who feels a bit down, who has been reminded of past hurt. But other times, when we have our perspective right about ourselves, the question must be, could there be reasons why we go out of our circle, and risk being hurt again?)

God forgives me, God lifts me up, God gives me purpose in life, God helps me and those offended move on.

Walking on the Clifftops

2009-03-31T21:36:00.002+09:00

Now married (!), Simon and I are house-sitting in Anglesey. Today we went on a coastal walk, after a quick carouse around Holyhead, (and a disagreement about whether we should sail over to Dublin or not ... we didn't...I tried to 'submit'). Anyhow, on our coastal walk, not only did we both see puffins for the first time nestling in the cliff craveses, approach a lighthouse, and stroke a horses' nose, we also learnt some spiritual lessons.

First, this is for me really, but God showed me that ships need a lighthouse's light to guide them, and planes need an air-traffic control tower (we can actually see our local RAF Base one from the bathroom window!), so do humans need a guide. Only in our arrogance do we think we can do it ourselves, and, put plainly, we get lost. Or, we think we have found the point of life - in a big open field of pleasures and amusements - whereas actually, 'narrow is the path' that we need to find. And we need a guide to find it.

Second, after a steep descent down many steps to the lighthouse, we discovered it wasn't the season for it to be open for visitors. Shame. So, slightly dispirited and pretty exhausted, we had to re-climb all those steep steps with little more than a one minutes break. I was tired. And when I looked at the steps in front of me, I had to go slowly, and take lots of rests. But when I had the bright idea of instead looking up to my husband, up ahead of me, I suddenly found myself moving forward with a lighter step and a heart that felt I could do it! There is another lesson in there, I thought - in the mountains and valleys of life, to look to our bridegroom up ahead: the Lord Jesus Christ!

Weird Britain, weird me.

2008-12-30T05:55:00.003+09:00

Well I've arrived, back in my own country, as a foreigner.

Well not quite - I did use the 'UK and other EU countries' entrance counter at Heathrow, and no-one stopped me. But in my sister's Surrey village, I feel rather like I'm on a movie set. My sister's house seems to have gained in beauty and comfort in my eyes since I last stayed. So do all the other houses nearby that I've seen. Even the local graveyard looks huge and beautiful, and the grave stones seem so short! (In Japan they're narrow and tall.) I'm observing British landscape and British people as a Japanese tourist might, and not just any faceless Japanese tourist, but my friends whose faces and names I know so well.

So here's some other amusing things...

Eastenders was just on, and there was a girl reading out a Bible reading - again not something you'd see on japanese soap!

This morning we went out for coffee with one of Soph's old colleagues. I was entranced by all the beautiful blond children in the gorgeous coffee shop - I thought the only beautiful blond children in the world were the Wilson children - now I see many other lookalike 'missionary kids' who wouldn't even know what the term meant!

I am enjoying myself, eager for phone calls from friends. finding it strange not to have my own mobile phone so I can't call anyone yet. But the good thing is my future mother-in-law sent me a little present, and it's just what I needed - a watch! So I won't need to ask my mum what I almost asked her on the phone earlier - 'So what time is it with you?' I just need to check my watch! (I think I'll leave my computer clock on Japanese time for the time being though!)

Oh... and about my last blog entry, in case you're wondering - yes within three hours of arriving my sister told me I was speaking weird ;-) (but actually I didn't mind a bit.)

Scared of coming home

2008-12-23T10:20:00.005+09:00

It's my last full day in Kyoto. From here, I stay with friends at our headquarters, and then fly back to England. I am feeling sad today, and a bit scared of coming home, and want to express some of why I think that is.

I love being here. I feel sad to leave my friends' lives for the length of time I will be away - likely one-and-a-half years. Maybe they won't even be living in this region when I come back - so this life as I know it is soon gone. I also feel sad that my life will also move on loads and so when I come back, if my friends lives are much the same, I will be different to them. What's more, will I have to start all over again in learning Japanese vocabulary?!

I also feel frustrated that, although my friends and family in Britain will certainly realise I have moved countries, I don't think they may realise exactly what changes I will go through. For one, I will be very tired - packing up home is a huge thing, so I am not starting from an energetic position, or even from zero again, rather I am starting from minus-5. I also feel like a foreigner going to Britain - I can't quite remember how everything works - like renting a house, starting a mobile phone contract. I also can't quite remember how a group of young British people coming together inter-relate (although I don't think this will be such a problem, as I do have British team-mates here.) Furthermore for over two years here I have called people back home when I've felt like it - due to the time difference and my skype calling method; usually when other people call me I don't have my computer on. So this has created a self-controlled communication culture. I can see myself losing that control pretty fast on returning home!

What's more I am living in quite a private culture here, where spending time on your own is normal. But when I want to see someone, usually they are available at only two hours notice! In contrast in Britain, I will be staying with other people for my first two months, have little privacy in that, be seen as weird if I want to spend time by myself going places possibly, and if I do want to see some folk, probably have to book with them a couple of weeks in advance!

I may also surprise people if i use some funny turns of phrase in English, or say some Japanese words by mistake (I am really scared I will make some stupid mistakes and be laughed at my family - because in japan you do use funny turns of phrase in a Japanese-English kind of way).

So that's how I'm feeling. It's different to a holiday - my life is turning around again.

So much to do!

2008-11-08T16:54:00.005+09:00

Planning an engagement ceremony, a wedding, new married life, moving country, closing a church, and doing a job means we have so much to do! Here are a few things on my/our To Do list.

Choose where to live after marriage for first 6 months (South-West, Oxford or Gloucester?)
Pray someone offers us a house for our first six months or less.
Choose whether or not to purchase a house
Choose bridesmaids dresses
Book a band
Buy stuff for table decorations
Book honeymoon (chosen already though!)
Arrange family planning methods
Book my flight ticket
Arrange where to stay after arriving back in Britain
Arrange where to be over Christmas here, and how to say goodbyes
Make wedding invitations!
Choose music and contact church again
Choose flowers- but this can be done at home
Fill in the application form and send to Bible College
Try and keep everyone happy with phone calls, and forgive myself and not care when I mostly fail in this

And today -write a speech for konyaushiki, email church leader with list of names, write prayer for church service tomorrow, and make a meal to take to church tomorrow... And supposed to be for today but not possible now - see lady about kimono, write and send personal newsletter, write and send Seeds of Grace
sorry I have to go!

Girl about town

2008-10-04T17:02:00.003+09:00

Today I went with Mirabelle's aunt to two exhibitions. The first was a 'hana matsuri', or in other words, a flower show. The flowers on show were in one hired room in a shrine, and designed according to ikebana: a Japanese style of flower arranging. I have studied this in a miniscule way and so could recognise the traditional style ones and learned that in the 'freestyle' form, the way I had learned wasn't used. Some of them were breathtaking; they made me happy :-) We were treated very well too, by the kimono-clad ladies on the front desk, (friends of the aunt), and had to sign our names with a paint brush into a rather posh visitors book.

Next we went to an art exhibition in Sanjo, of a neighbour of the aunt. In fact he is a Buddhist priest. He had his (black, with dashes of colour) pictures on display and his self-composed music playing. We enjoyed hanging out with his wife and drinking more matcha. We then went for a nice lunch, looked in some shops (when I was eyeing up wedding rings!), and then got a taxi home. I then fell asleep in her house as her daughter also lay on the floor watching another little girl (cousin) as she played. I felt both privileged to be in such company and also fairly natural after now 2 years of being here.

Memoirs with a Geisha

2008-08-28T22:46:00.004+09:00

Have you ever read Memoirs of a Geisha, or seen the film?

Tonight I spent the evening in such company, which was at the same time both 'normal' and magical. Normal because I was in a tatami room, like in my house here, in my city of Kyoto, with people mostly about my age. However it was magical as we were invited to see a glimpse of the life of this old-age tradition. Our geisha was in fact a 'maiko san', which means she is in her teens. Her work every day is to practice her skills (making conversation with a whole range of people, dancing, playing the shamisen (a stringed guitar-like instrument), and others) and then entertain her guests in the evenings by looking beautiful and mysterious, serving drinks, a meal, leading games (as in the video), dancing and other arts. And she really did have a skill, despite being only 17, of smiling and looking so beautiful and genuine when she did. I imagine though, with having to sleep with her head on a wooden pillow so as to protect her hairstyle and make-up which must last for one whole week, only having two days off per month, not having access to computers, the internet or a mobile phone, and entertaining people usually much older than her and probably much more drunk, it must be hard to be so nice all the time in public. Her 'okaasan' (= mother; used in this context of her seniors in the tea house who care for her and teach her) is hovering in the background, picking up the conversation where need be, and giving permission for her to enter the room or leave the house.

It really was a magical and extraordinary experience. At the start I rather looked down on the profession, as being the servant of others, but as the evening went on, I realised that relaxation is a vital part of life, as is socialising, and this geisha job-come-lifestyle is designed to encourage both for people. I'd still love for these people in the hidden parts of Kyoto's life to come to know and follow Jesus though - imagine how it might benefit them, transform their conversational lives with clients, and how the rest of Japan and the world might hear about it!

Away from home

2008-08-26T10:53:00.004+09:00

I love the feeling of being away from home. This week I have stayed in a variety of accomodation, with some special people. Today, I am enjoying my first experience of a Japanese `business hotel`. It is just 5000 yen (25 pounds) a night, including a lovely self-service breakfast plus a tiny little booth where you can use the internet (for free), in which I am now sat - with the door open (until the receptionist tells me to close it) as it really is tiny (and hot).

I have had a wicked time this last week, on holiday. With Mirabelle, we hitch-hiked, camped, found our way to Shikoku`s highest mountain (Mt Tsurugi san) and got to the summit, crossed over three vine bridges (made of branches over big gorges - see me crossing one in the photo!), ate soba and udon (the region`s specialities) and just generally enjoyed the whole exciting experience. As Mirabelle said, when we were walking on the roadside in the dark hoping for a lift to save us walking the 30 km home, and I asked her if she was scared, `No, it`s not often in life we get to do this`.

And so here I am in Kouchi, where we arrived last night, and I decided I`d like to try, for the first time in my life, to walk the streets and find a hotel just for myself, rather than travel back to Mirabelle`s place at quite an inconvenient time for her. I will venture out soon, and explore the city a bit, but at the moment I need to rest, there is free internet, and it`s been raining since I woke up.

I also had a great time earlier in the week with Simon, visiting Tokushima. We stayed with some friends of a colleague, who were lovely and hospitable and whose lifestyle we both admired enormously. They seem to welcome people into thier house at all times of the day and night and also simply enjoy walking through this fun life together as a couple. I was not looking forward to staying there, as before arriving I felt it would be a burden of more small talk with people in Japan that I don` know, but instead it was a pleasure and one that was provided for us by God.

Things to Learn from Rakusei Church

2008-08-17T21:33:00.009+09:00

Today I finished my four months of indigenous (Japanese) church placement at Rakusei Church. Let me relate what I have gained from being there.

First, a sense of freedom. I have seen this in the church members, from the first moment I met them. Many are divorced and have found the church in the last few years - they are not putting up a pretense with thier lives - they have come as broken people and been genuinely healed (it seems). The older members too, including the lady who was the starting member of that church, also beam with joy and freedom. They don't worry about what (not) to wear, and what (not) to do. If our newest Christian wants to go for a fag outside, he goes for a fag outside. If the daughter of one member turns up in the shortest shorts, with the past-self-harm scars on her arms not covered, no-one bats an eyelid. I like this - it's not about rules, it's about being family together.
And I could stop there.

But second, I have learnt about joy in the Lord. The pastor, Okumura sensei (sensei means pastor or teacher in Japanese), and his wife Michiyo sensei, always beam with energy. Nothing is to much trouble for them. And when really tired, Okumra sensei just missed the night of gospel choir to rest at home. These folk aren't 'martyrs' (in the bad sense of the word), these are people who are willingly choosing to look on the joyful side of life. They are light-hearted, rather than long-faced, even though I know they've dealt with sticky counsellng situations in the church. They like to try and hang around with church members. Which leads me on to...

Third, there is a sense of community. People work long hours in Japan, so the church's weekly schedule is light. That means on Sundays people choose to spend the whole day together - worship service, eating lunch, sitting on the floor chatting, making jewelery, drinking tea. They also sometimes socialise together, like going out to see band play, or something. Gospel choir is also social and it introduces people to the church, (as in the people, although also the building), before they come to 'church' as such.

Fourth, the time is maximised. Seeing as people are busy in the week, the church's leadership meetings take place after the service and before the lunch on Sundays, (not every week, maybe monthly). The time for new individuals to study the Bible with the Pastor is also Sunday afternoon; they slip into his office to chat while everyone else is still mingling in the next room. Practices for special church events are squeezed in after gospel choir on Thursday nights. English classes (while I was there), are held after the Sunday lunch. Basically this means people don't have to travel back and forth to the church; the pastors simply make use of the time they have with people rather than askng for more. And the service times also are geared for people: the first ervice is at 7am, so that those who have to work can come before work starts. The second service is at 10.30am. And the third, at 7.30pm, for those after work. There will also be a fourth in September, at 1.30pm, of contemporary worship, for those who can't be bothered to get up before mid-day on Sundays and so aren't at present even part of church.

Fifth, multiculturism is important. We tend to think, as missionaries, that we have to become 'indigenous' to relate the gospel credibly. True, this is what mission theory has been fighting for for years, and it's a great achievement that we now all finally beleive it. But in Japan, English language is still a novelty. In short, it's cool. The new 1.30pm service wil largely be English songs, even though there wilbe no native speakers in the church, as the pastor says Japanese young people cannot connect with God singing modern songs in Japanese about God: it just doesn't go together. There might be larger questions for how we can get around that, but in the meantime, let's put on some internationaly-flavoured events to draw people in!

Sixth, you cannot please everyone. I missed one church event for personal preference of something equally/more valuable that night, and that was kinda embaraassing, but that will sometimes be a choice we have to make without always being able to justify ourselves to everyone or even those most senior.

Seventh, Japanese pastors and Christians do use some different phrases in services and when praying compared to missionaries speaking Japanese, so it's important for new foreign workers like myself to learn in a Japanese-context when possible.

Eighth, when people are asked to introduce themselves when they've come to an event for the first time, the normal thing is for that person not to say anything personal about themselves other than their name, and instead just to relate how they came to know of the church event/group, thier (positive) impressions of it, and that they'll come back again if they can. (I in contrast made the mistake of giving a 5-minute personal introduction all about myself, before I was asked to sit down!)

Ninth, Japanese people won't necessarily invite you to thier house or out for coffee, as you are in a higher position than them being in church leadership, but maybe they would gladly accept an invitation if you issued it. Sadly I discovered this too late (from one of my Korean colleagues) so have never had a coffee out with anyone there, sob sob. Although finaly after four months, two people have asked for my phone number and said to come round, smile, (& mental reminder: must go!)

Tenth, babies can sleep anyway! (Why do British peole always rush home after the service, if not five minutes before the end, to feed the baby and put him to bed?!) The church members here just feed the babies while eating lunch with (and at) the church, and then lie the baby down on a cushion and he sleeps. Further to that, the children fit in and are an integral part of the church family. And with that, here's some of the church people!

Live House

2008-08-02T23:08:00.005+09:00

Today we in KPG (Kyoto Praise of Grace gospel choir) did another Live Performance, this time at the Saiin Music Festival. In fact, today at loads of locations across Kyoto there were live music performances all day - from a Starbucks venue to ours, which was in a rather grand kindergarten in a Shinto shrine, with a big stage - if you can imagine that - probably not!

We loved it, and I felt God leading me where to look in the songs, from praising him direct, to looking at the audience more. Only a few wrong notes but it was all pretty loud so I don't think anyone heard!

Afterwards I had my first experience of eating out with a big group of Japanese people who aren't students, (my other experiences being with the footballers, but they tended to be students). It was nice. And they taught me how to eat sushi properly! Here's a snapshot of geting ready beforehand, wih our choir director being the lady giving the big chuckle.

Here's immediately after the performance , back upstairs, when we were still looking nice and smart.

and here's letting our hair down later:

Generous Giving: A Reflection of the Heart?

2008-07-29T21:11:00.004+09:00

Our finance officer today made this comment to me, to encourage me:

"You can really tell where someone's heart is by how they choose to give."

I would actually refine this reflection to,

"You should be able to tell where someone's heart is, in part, by how they choose to give."

I've added the word SHOULD because, intention and action should be linked. ie. We can say we want to live our life a certain way according to certain principles - for example to care for the environment, and to help those who are disabled - but if we actually never act with these priniciples in mind - for example we never recycle, we never talk with our disabled neighbour, or give money to a disabled charity - then our idea is just 'hot air'. And the same goes for giving money - this is one resource we have which we can use to reflect our priorites in life.

However I don't think the link between money and heart is even this simple though, for three reasons.

First, many people have never been taught or be exposed to the idea that their money can be used to benefit others, that their is a joy in that, and a 'comeback' in that too. I was lucky enough to work for IFES in the fund development department, and during that time read lots of web-articles on the joy of giving, especially by a network in the United States called Generous Giving Foundation - started by a group of businessmen and women who earn buckets and then give buckets to good causes. They beleive that a little education goes a long way. So do I. How we see our money changes our percepton of a lot of things.

Second, God has distributed different spiritual gifs around, which means that some people have the gift of giving, some do not. This means our finance officer sees a reflection of commitment to our organsiation through the exercise of just one type of gift: the spiritual gift of giving. But it might well be that someone with a gift of serving is just as dedicated to the organsiation and serves people late into the night, even though he wouldn't give much money each month. This is why I have written IN PART in my defination: "You should be able to tell where someone's heart is, in part, by how they use their money."

Third, people's fixed income and expenditure is different. A single person living in a cheap part of town can, for example, live incredibly cheaply: partly through the choice to live simply, but also partly because thier financial needs simply aren't as great as someone with a larger family in a more pricey part of town.

I would want to encouarge everyone to give generously, as God rewards those who do, plus it really does help people. However I think the above three points should also remove any smugness from those who do give generously. Joy is the word.

A week of interesting people

2008-07-26T23:08:00.004+09:00

I've had a week filled with interesting people crossing my path each time I emerge from my well air-conditioned room!

Today it's Saturday and I met with Mayumi, who's our gospel choir leader. I suggested it to her in a text message yesterday, in an attempt to be more proactive in getting to know people in the choir, and because she had been asking if I could help her with some songs in English and so it seemed a good opportunity. And it was refreshing to have someone leap on the idea and be genuinely excited. It was exciting for me too, as I am in quiet awe of Mayumi, and her ability to transform into such a creative, bubbly source of energy and joy in our choir practices and live performances, as she plays the piano, sings, and whooshes across the stage in a flurry of exileration and laughter. When not in that mode she's just a normal, possibly slightly insecure gal, just like me, who loves the God she discovered six years ago. As well as us simply recovering in the coffee shop from the heat, I helped her compose a song (yes, I know that sounds strange, sitting in a coffee shop!), she taught me the names of the books of the Bible in Japanese, and we kind of comunicated even though we couldn't always get every word of what each other was saying! (kansai-dialect didn't help!)

Then she had to go and sing in a wedding, for the second time that day, so we said goodbye and I went on the train a bit further up the lake-coast, (which is novel for me to do by myself with time to spare), did some shopping, got a free bus across the lake, went paddling as the sun was setting, and then was picked up by another lady I met a while back. We had dinner together in Moriyama and again it was interesting to chat about all sorts, from a dating party that's happening in Osaka in the Autumn, to the fact that in Japan there is no 'Ladies first' convention. I like people like her who are non-clingy but ever-so-kind.

And also this week we had an interestng guy stay in our house - Theo Cowley, an artist who does this kind of thing in London and Holland. After conversations about Kyoto life in the kitchen, and having another Englishman around, I was sad to see him go.

I am very happy about these newish frinedships, but I've also been slightly disillusioned by others in the last few months. There's been a few people who seemed to want to be friends with me (and me with them), but when the 'novelty' wore off for them of having a foreign friend, or something, they've become disinterested and unavailable. Or maybe they're just busy. Or maybe I've done something wrong. So I am slightly wary now .... although it's important for me to keep my heart open to those individual friends (and I will use that word 'friends' even though I'm not entirely convinced it's still valid!) It makes me all the more grateful though for other longer-standing friends, like Yuki and Masako, who although likely get something out of our international friendship, are genuine friends.

Signing

2008-06-26T14:19:00.002+09:00

I am so proud of Simon my boyfriend. He went to his first sign language class on Monday night! I can picture him with a big grin on his face, throwing his hands around, picking it up like nobody's business.

Am I dreaming?

2008-06-24T10:24:00.004+09:00

I got woken up by my housemate last night. Because I was singing. "Henrietta, are you alright?" she asked as he knocked on the door. I woke up. "Yes" I replied. "Were you asleep?" "No, I wasn't asleep." I replied. "Ok", she said and returned to her room. Actually I was asleep I thought. My last thought had been 'lalalala' in my dream. I fell asleep again. I had a bizarre recollection this morning of this funny conversation with her. So I tentatively knocked on her door asked her, was it a dream? No, she said, at 3am it was real :-)

House Church impetus

2008-06-07T21:55:00.003+09:00

I just got back from Japan's first-ever house-church-conference.

It was anti house church style (!), in the sense that it had a central meeting point for around 100 people, and we even had a speaker up the front (a guy of Chinese ethnicity, from the Philippines). But the focus was definitely in using house church style and replication.

The focus of house churches is on evangelism, preferably to friends, who then share with friends, who then share with friends, who then share with friends....to produce lots of little churches. What the 'churches' do together when they meet is ask God to speak to them through the Bible, and share life together. In fact, life is more important than meetings. And a top-down learning approach is certainly not advocated, not practiced. (And yet of course the great leaders of any movement, including the ones - or I could even reduce that to one - of the house church movement in Japan, are hard to miss!)

I have lots of questions and a few contact cards from people there too. Next Saturday, as a spin off, I will attend a deaf church in Kyoto. Then, another girl asked me to start a house church with her...what to do what to do....and another lovely girl and I swapped contact details and could maybe keep in touch socially and to hear about her life and church experience. Her (house) church in Osaka is called 'Joy Church' and they do met centrally twice a month with about 5 other house churches, in a group called 'B1', (or BeOne - not sure which spelling is used!). She was encouraged by the conference, as despite being the only Christian in her family, her workplace and her group of friends, she now has decided not to be lonely in that but to use it as an opportunity!

It was pretty unexpected and amazing to find myself at such a strategic conference and with such a fresh feel to it. I guess that's how all organisations and initiatives start out! I felt very much like I was in the house church movement in China..except I was still in Japan, just 45 minutes from 'home'! It was also cool to share a Youth Hostel room with four other Japanese ladies (from the conference), go to the bath with them and eat meals together, and to find myself completely confident in that environment. I loved it.

Keeping healthy while working abroad

2008-05-28T14:20:00.003+09:00

Four things that I am seeing are needed for the overseas worker's emotional wellbeing:

1/ Breaks from the location and work (holidays) – a break away refreshes you, getting you out of what can become otherwise a stifling situation without one realising until breaking point. Fitting around other people in your new culture and new mission culture takes a certain amount of effort, which is tiring. And when you are tired, and then face challanges, you are also less able to help yourself. Taking a break provides rest and perspective.

2/ Have someone, or better a few people, to talk to and offload on. This is best mostly done on the field – as only talking to friends back home can add to the gap that might already be felt between home and mission-field, and sometimes friends from back home can’t really picture your situation at all. Saying that, a few friends back home can be irreplaceable - for example my friend Sophie can relate well; she is Belgian but is living abroad (UK), and has also studied cross-cultural studies at Bible college.

3/ Having daily times with God and Bible reading time. Again, this gives perspective, (God’s perspective), and therefore guidance through life.

4/ Forgiveness, and mercy, from and to colleagues in particular. This is because love between a mission team is the most powerful witness. Lack of forgivness, esp in these closest relationships, also affects workers' health. Seing others as better than yourselves must also be the aim.

Visitors

2008-05-28T12:18:00.009+09:00

We have three students from FES-Singapore with us on a short-term mission at the moment. So much fun. We did some tracting together, they did a fantastic sketch in church, I tried to translate the sermon for them(very badly), and we all enjoyed a baptism on church on Sunday night, and lots of meals with the church folk.

And this past week I've also had two friends visit here. The first was Ayako, who I knew from her year doing research in Oxford. She was here in Kyoto last week, for work, (at the same place where the Kyoto Protoco took place!), and she looked me up. (I've seen her both times I've been to Tokyo too.) Here she is, with her new family member, in my 'sitting room'.

My next visitor was this week - Nick, my former classmate from my Japanese evening class in Oxford.

Oh yes, and the guy to my right - that is my fiance, Simon!

Chinese worldview - a lot to learn

2008-05-17T12:50:00.003+09:00

OK so I'm not in China, in fact I've never been to China! But I've just realised the Chinese are not in fact unaware of what 'the West' thinks of some of their policies, and neither do these views not wound them. For the first time I've had my eyes opened, and here is the poem that did it.

The Great Wall of China:
A Poem Dedicated to the last 150 years of this planet
by a Silent, Silent Chinese.

When we were called the Sick Man of Asia, we were the Yellow Peril.
When we are billed to be the next Superpower, we are a threat.

When we closed our doors, you smuggled drugs to our markets.
When we embraced Free Trade, you blame us for taking away your jobs.

When we were falling apart, you marched in your troops and wanted your "fair share".
When we were putting the broken pieces together again, "Free T'b't" you scream, "it was an invasion!"

So, we tried Communism, you hated us for being communists
When we embraced capitalism, you hate us for being capitalists.

When we have a billion people, you said we were destroying the planet.
When we tried limiting our numbers, you said it is human rights abuse.

When we were poor, you thought we were dogs.
When we loan you cash, you blame us for your debts.

When we build our industries, you called us polluters.
When we sell you goods, you blame us for global warming.

When we buy oil, you call that exploitation and genocide.
When you fight for oil, you call that liberation and democracy.

When we were lost in chaos and rampage, you wanted rule of law for us.
When we uphold law and order against violence, you call that violating human rights.

When we were silent, you said you want us to have free speech.
When we were silent no more, you say we are brainwashed racists.

Why do you hate us so much? We asked.
"No," you answered, "We don't hate You."

We don't hate you either,
But do you understand us?

"Of course we do," You said,
"We have NBC, CNN and BBCs…"

What do you really want from us?
Think hard first, then answer…

Because you only get so many chances,
Enough is enough, enough Hypocrisy for this one world.

We want one world, one dream, and peace on Earth.
This big blue Earth is big enough for all of Us.

Japanese worldview: a lot to learn

2008-05-17T08:35:00.003+09:00

Last night I met with my pastor and his wife and children. I forgot to take a photograph as planned. But we had some very interesting chats. I started to understand the difference in worldview between my own (English one) and the Japanese one. As a new worker in only the second month of my first Japanese church placement, this is just what I need!

Like for example, can you imagine that the Japanese find Jesus’ death for them quite an annoyance? (For those that know of it and stop to consider it, that is.) Simon my boyfriend has written some useful stuff about giri, the concept in Japan where you must not be indebted to anyone, so must always repay gift for gift. (For example, at a wedding, guests give the bride and groom money as a gift. But the bride and groom return this favour by buying gifts for everyone who attends!) You therefore have to be careful when buying presents for someone, that you don’t get something too extravagant that they then have to live up to in their return gift. So can you imagine their feeling to hear that someone has died for them? What an imposition! How on earth are they ever going to repay this?! No doubt the Jehovah’s Witnesses are trying hard. Of course we can’t repay Jesus’ gift of life to us – that is the point. But it’s a pretty hard one for Japanese people to take – they’d prefer not to be involved in this interaction with Christ Jesus at all!

Another difference in my understanding and that of my Japanese pastor was over the word ‘sacrifice’. In my understanding, if I go and live in a poor country for the sake of Christian mission there, I am making certain 'sacrifices' – of the wealth of my life back home, possibly of the variety or amount of food I can eat, of a certain living standard at least. Likewise by living in Japan as a Christian worker, I am sacrificing a career back home, I am making the sacrifice of not seeing my nieces grow up day-by-day, etc etc etc. But the main word here is ‘I’, and the theme is ‘going without’ myself to achieve something which is unconnected with what I am sacrificing. In Japanese that is not a sacrifice. A ‘’gisei’’ (=sacrifice in Japanese) is when you don’t use something for yourself but instead use it for others. Therefore what you achieve is directly linked to your switching of the same resources to someone else. For example if my pastor sacrifices going on foreign holidays in order to invest that same money into his children’s education, that is sacrifice. If I go without food in order to give food to someone else, that is sacrifice. But it is not something to be admired exactly, as it is in British culture - it invokes the listener to feel sorry for you:, 'ah, poor you!'.

This is why WEC’s pillar of ‘Sacrifice’ is still one that the Japanese pastors apparently debate over how they can teach, and integrate, into their group of churches. Apparently they had long discussions over which Japanese word to use when translating the four pillars of WEC for use in their own group of churches. In the end they did settle on the regular word, “gisei”, with all the connotations as outlined above. But it still does not sit easily with some of them. Jesus sacrifice itself is not a problem – he sacrificed his life to give us life. He took our punishment for sin to save us being punished for sin. That is “gisei”. But it’s when I try and translate my understanding of the sacrifices I’ve made for the gospel into Japanese, as an illustration of what God sometimes calls us to in order to achieve his higher purposes, that the problems start!

The other thing I found out is that nearly everyone in my church is divorced. I hadn’t expected that – I had guessed one person was, but I had no idea that about five others were, including one mum of four young children, (I now see I have put my foot in it with her a few times). Most were already divorced before becoming Christians, and it was shortly after this happened in their lives that they sought out the church - and thankfully found what they were looking for. But not everyone; and the church decided that two of the elders who parted company last year should be able to stay on as separate elders, so it wasn’t like a punishment. Quite an unusual decision. All these people are obviously finding a lot of forgiveness and acceptance and fellowship in the church – now I can understand why people want to arrive at church at 10.30 Sunday morning and not leave until 6pm! And that is what church is for after all. I had my mind kinda transformed, realising I am part of a community of believers practicing the new life and forgiveness that Jesus offers. I also realized I have been trying to live up to a perfect Christian standard when actually I should just live to God’s plans for me and be honest along the route. But I also realized that teaching about getting on with your spouse is so important in the church.

The pastors are so kind to me – spending hours last night correcting my sermon/testimony for Sunday, having these kind and long conversations, giving me lovely food and even coming up with a menu for next time I visit as well! (I had presumed this might be a one-off visit!) I really trusted that they had enjoyed it when they said that.

friendships provide and go round and round...

2008-04-26T15:09:00.003+09:00

A lady in the UK was praying for me to have a close female friend here. I wasn't too sure I wanted that in particular, but, God has provided someone. It is really great.

Through another friend's generosity to me here, I can try and pass this onto the new person too - wonderful!

Friend A ----love---- Me ---love----- New friend B

Belated reporting of end of term fun

2008-04-05T22:58:00.003+09:00

On the right-hand panel is a list of links to other sites. On the one labeled 'My Videos' you can watch two YouTube videos I made at the end of term at language school: I've just uploaded our Sayonara Song, as well as our class sketch. The same one is at http://uk.youtube.com/thehenuk

I have also updated my film and book blog - what I've been watching and reading! You can find this one too on the right, or through http://thehenukeyesopen.blogspot.com/

The full circle

2008-04-05T11:45:00.005+09:00

I despair of myself sometimes. Last week I was so incredible stressed, perhaps the most so in my whole life. A lot of changes and decisions for change, (some small, some major), converged at once, and I was not coping. I really could do nothing else other than drag myself to various places to have meetings with colleagues until 11pm at night to make decisions about all that had to decided, dissolve into tears once we moved onto an informal time of catching up until 1am, and absorb myself with worry until I fell into stress-induced sleep (whatever time of day it was) when by myself. My parents were worried. They probably still are.

Then once some decisions were made I started to feel better, we went on retreat on Tuesday and surprisingly I felt confident and fine again. Now I am back and ...almost bored. I should get out the house and go see something nice, or take a nice walk, before my new schedule starts later next week, but instead I am being busy on the computer, in a hyper-efficiency that I couldn't have managed 1% of last week.

In the last 24 hours I've been loading the details of all the books I have with me here into our new WEC Japan computerised library system; drawing up my new schedule from April ti August and emailing it to various people; writing a web-article (see below); writing to our field-leader about numerous things; writing a plan for the next 9 years of my life, that needs to be handed into our field leader in one-week's time; catching up on world news and trashy news on the internet; and re-arranging my room so that my computer can have it's place next to my bed, and my new desk can have it's place by the window, so I can dream instead of writing in the future :). I guess I'm not exactly bored when I'm doing this work, but I'm simply not used to having days 'free' of other work to do these things at home. For so long I've been busy busy busy, outside the house, with language lessons, and when on holiday I've tended to also have a packed schedule. So a few days at home provide an amazing ability to get things done, but a slight panic at the lack of people around to provide me with an outside human stimulus (unless you count watching a clip of an Oprah video about an American man who's gonna have a baby an outside stimulus...)

Does anyone else ever go through this, or is it just me?

Retreat

2008-04-05T11:36:00.003+09:00

We in WEC Japan have just been on retreat together. Here's an article I wrote for the WEC Japan website about it: http://www.wec-japan.org/content/view/59/30/
What I didn't mention was the food! Rice, soup and fish (amoung other stuff) for breakfast, lunch and dinner!

Disruptions

2008-03-20T21:21:00.004+09:00

So often when we look back on what seemed to be against what we had planned, we discover that it was a point of growing and learning. God does not only work through the confines of the Church or of our own ideas: it is often when we are forced to do other than we planned that the Great Other works through us. I do not believe in vocation as much as vocations. God does not call us once but again and again and again. Vocation is being open to the situation we are in and listening to what God is saying within it. If our vocation is thwarted at one level it does not mean that God no longer calls us: God calls us wherever we are, we are called to keep ourselves aware.

David Adam (Walking the Edges, p.27).

I love this quote because it's deep stuff. It makes me feel safe and empowered that God calls us wherever we are and that we can be aware of his presence and leading and use our circumstances rightly.

But it makes me feel very nervous too, and slightly sick - that I might have rugs ripped out from under my feet, that I will have to keep saying 'yes' to hard things...the same hard things.

Today I was reading in James 1 how the testing of our faith produces perseverance. And that we can ask for wisdom. But that when we ask we mustn't doubt when we ask.

Rather than getting so scared about possibilities, I must learn to trust the Lord and seek wisdom from him. I much prefer solid ground. In the end though, solid ground isn't a system of beliefs, behaviour, circumstancesor plans; solid ground is a person, and the unchangeableness of his character, and in particular his love. That's who I have to adore.

An extraordinary feeling

2008-03-20T20:18:00.004+09:00

For six months now when I’ve been in my room, I’ve either been sitting on the floor, lying on the floor (sleeping on a futon), or standing up. Today I brought a new item into my bedroom – a chair. What an extraordinary feeling! Here I am, sat on it, using my newly acquired desk too. Now, my horizontal gaze falls on at a different part of the wall than before: the middle bit. Suddenly the room has taken on a different perspective. I must say, it feels more like what I’ve been used to elsewhere – in British dining rooms, and classrooms. In fact, suddenly the room looks like a function around me – a space for me to sit and work, an office, to fit around my needs. Before, I had to fit around the room, and multi-function in the room, even if inconvenient. One moment I was sat on the floor eating my dinner, the next I was sleeping on that same part of the floor. However by doing so, I felt like a acquired a new perspective: I had space around me, rather than furniture; I was learning a new way of living, a Japanese way of living. And so, although today’s ‘chair-perspective’ is novel, I think I preferred the new perspective I had acquired before.

Cultural adaptation is all about trying out new ways of doing things, or new ways of thinking about things, that we might never have known existed before. It’s not only doing the choice that before we wouldn’t have naturally chosen – it’s also about doing what previously we wouldn’t have imagined ever was a choice! And sometimes, we discover that the previously unimagined is actually a better thing!

Next stop: TBC.

2008-02-24T21:42:00.004+09:00

I'm wondering which church I'll end up in next, (and linked to that location, job, schedule and lifestyle), from the Spring onwards, and looking forward to knowing. Feeling like I want stuff to get sorted, soon, but also that I don't want it to before it's time, as maybe other things need to fall into place before. I hope it'll be time soon. I'm not good at waiting.

Lifespan

2008-02-08T19:09:00.000+09:00

Today as I tried to learn kanji in a student cafe, instead I started making a list of what I want to do in my life. Here it is.

* see Genius again, in China
* remain friends with Becky
* be a good auntie to my nieces (and nephews)
* remain in tune with God
* don't regret not being better, if God has called me to a certain task/lifestyle
* feel free
* love Mum and Dad well
* it would be lovely to return to Uganda.

I feel a bit foolish sharing these on the web ... like are they good enough?... but why not share them? It's my 'me' space after all :-)

I also spent some time demolishing in my mind (and on paper) what I would view as 'better' as I was surprised I'd written that word! And the demolishment was very important I'd say - cos who wants to live up to someone else's definition of life's value... And the result was wanting to have my own purpose in life, and live to that purpose.

A Prayer for Japan

2008-02-08T18:58:00.000+09:00

Jesus,

These are a people you first starting choosing 400 years ago - with the arrival of the Portuguese Christian messengers. No, way before that! These are a people selected by you at the start of time - some were always chosen for your kingdom.

Jesus, these are a people who love nature. They value community too; both blessed by you. Give them the power and insight that comes through these things; bless them with the Spirit that loves these things too.

Bless them with Jesus' blood - a red trickle down a white snowy mountain. The breathe of the wind through the countryside. The fragrance of the cherry blossoms. The baptism of the cold sea waves. The cleansing onsen. The new leaf of the chrysanthemum.

Bless these people.
In Jesus name,
Amen.

A European adventure

2008-01-12T16:42:00.000+09:00

So here I am, back in my room after my first three weeks back in Euro’pa (as we say in Japan): two-and-a-half weeks in England and half a week in the Netherlands. And what a time it was. When I saw “Bury St Edmonds” appear on the plane in-flight tracking system, I knew I must be nearly home. Funny to see that after seeing places like Seoul, and Ulanbattaar (Mongolia!) and Siberia. And after Bury, then Oxford appeared on the map!

Being met at the airport by Mark and Daisy and Beep Beep, with Sian and Grace soon appearing, was lovely. Clapping my eyes on Daisy brought a tear to my eye, and them all driving to meet me was really kind! I was introduced to Grace as ‘This is Daddy’s sister’, and thereafter it stuck with her: ‘Sister’. I felt like I was on Sister Act! We then drove to Devon and mostly all seemed so ‘normal’. The English countryside…seeing family…

There were a few strange things too; such as when I almost said to a lady in the loos in the Little Chef, ‘Oo, are you English too?’ Then I remembered that here, everyone is English! (The only English ladies I’ve been in contact with in Japan over the past year are Julie and Edi (two mission colleagues), another three Christian workers, and I once overheard an English accent in Starbucks… I sat close just to listen. My main ‘culture shock’ was when still in Japan, at Kansai airport; the ‘wave’ of tall, blond, Dutch air hostesses that swept through was quite a stir…I had to stop myself from staring. I might be tall and blond but I’m not used to seeing a whole pack like that….I realised how the recipients of the early American missionaries (Elisabeth Elliot and friends) to the Ecuadorian jungle must have felt like on seeing these strange people looking different and having weird ways of inter-relating.

At home Mum and Dad greeted me warmly. Balloons were up at the top of the drive, and banners inside, and Dad couldn’t stop hugging me on seeing me. I feel kinda safe in the world when hugged by my dad I’ve realised.

It was nice to get to know my 2-year old niece Grace’s routine at bedtime etc; and Mum cooked us some lovely meals. I caught the lurgey sick bug going round, but once recovered I was able to visit Anita and Dave (and Naomi and bump) in Taunton. I also visited the new WEC South-West co-ordinators in Taunton. I saw Becky and Neil twice, and was one of Albert’s first visitors, as he was born just about as my plane landed on the 23rd. Samuel, my godson, was so pleased to see me and gave me a lovely hug. I took some nice photographs.

I also popped in on Bill Honey in Hillcrest Road from church, and Tony and Brenda in the willows. Oh yes, and Alice got engaged too!

I had a few days with Mum and Dad once Mark and family had returned to Surrey. Met James Li in the Fulham Chinese restaurant on New Years Eve and Mum and Dad and I also popped down to the Square to see the knees up going on there, (Cotton Eyed Joe sort of stuff) before I watched Take That and The Sugarbabes and then Point Break the film, and then in my overtiredness (I was only a week off 30 by this point so need regular bedtimes!) felt kinda tearful and nostalgic for friends in Japan and realized I was already 9 hours too late for their midnight 

Next was seeing my sister Soph and Suzanne. I got to Dorking on the train. We went up Boxhill for a walk, then soup and roll in National Trust café, and played Yahtzee a lot too. I had one amazing day where I won every game of everything we played (other than the very last!) Their new house was a bit like Jane Maskell’s in Bicester.

Next I went to Oxford, from 4-6 January, and Sally and John put me up; Sally even came to pick me up from the station. When I heard a Japanese family in Oxford train station and understood what they were saying, I was quite happy and relieved I hadn’t forgotten everything! Sally and John were really kind to me, and Naomi also hosted a fantastic reception for me on the Sunday afternoon. It was such fun to see people. Naomi’s and Pete’s and my somewhat impromptu meal of fish and chips on Cowley Road afterwards was also brilliant fun. A birthday meal to remember!

It was lovely to meet Harry Skyjkjack, and see his parents Sharon and Simon for one evening. The following day when Sophie and Tim drove down from Cambridge to see me we went to the pub in North Hinksey that we’ve always liked and had a good catch up, although I fear that more of the conversation focused on me than on them! Going to visit Bernie and Wendy with them, and seeing both Annalies and Emma as babies was an unexpected bonus! I also went into the IFES office, enjoying tea and cake there on Sarah’s birthday, and catching up with Helen and Lindsey. Sarah had me round for dinner the following night too with some other special guests. Finally, Jules’ birthday presents to me were so special- and we both shared a highly memorable hour-and-a-half in Starbucks in Borders in Oxford, during which time I said I had remembered I must tell her something, and she in quick witty response asked if it was that I was pregnant!!! (and as she knew the answer was No, as much as I did, it caused a lot of silly giggles. (Don’t worry, I’m not:) but it was hilarious. )

Jo and her family welcomed me warmly to the Netherlands from 7-9 January. Chime had made me a ‘birthday hat’ of green paper, and Lucia seemed quite happy to meet me as now a little girl, running to the door to see if Daddy was home initially! Gioia has big blue eyes which is unusual. They are all gorgeous. Chime played with his road system a lot and even was using a toy I’d given him about four years ago (and now he is five) as one of his traffic light systems!

So I got back just now, and called the Wilsons and Chiara and Yuki and said hello to my landlady (slightly disappointed in her response) and presented the first of my presents, unsquashed, to her: some English tea.

Thank you to all who made my stay in the UK special; it was!

Strange English things

2008-01-12T16:33:00.000+09:00

Ok, now I've written the main bulk of my time 'back home', now I'll enlarge on weird things about being being there!

*Queues
*Chocolate bar vending machines (that don't exist in Japan, only drinks ones, or cigarettes, or alcohol.) And that don't accept notes either!
*Blunt bordering on rude Dutch air-staff, although that is due largely to their outgoingness/frankness, in contrast to the perfect service done so humbly by Japanese staff and especially women.
*A lot of people with different skin colours.
*Couples kissing on the plane! (In Japan couples hug or hold hands, but rarely kiss in public.)
*A lovely relaxed attitude towards Christian mission which I liked, seeing God as the author of all that happens.
*Lots of cakes. And more cakes. And puddings. And sweet things.
*Grubby coffee shops and toilets.
*Enormous sizes of clothes and shoes in stores like Tesco. (actually just 'normal' UK size but looked kinda enormous.)
*Chatty taxi drivers who don't dress up for the job.

Cycling and Mountain Time

2007-12-15T09:46:00.000+09:00

I’m in my first 40-day prayer period. Ever. It’s pretty phenomenal really. And just when I was wondering, or rather sometimes wonder, if we shouldn’t lead more ‘normal’, less ‘spiritual’, lives as passionate Christians, I read the first commandment to us: to love God with all our heart, our mind, our soul, our STENGTH. Everything. So instead, this is how I want to be for God and people. I thought, should we therefore be drained of strength in loving God? Well the quick answer we know we should give is that God renews us each morning or after prayer with his grace. And actually, yes I can testify that is true. And God also loves us like that too. This was in a bit of a book I read today: The Language of Promise by Graham Cooke.

The other thing I did today – not wanting to dwell on the two exams I think I did really badly in – was climb a mountain to pray. This was something that Jesus seemed to do quite a lot – at least in my Bible memory of the gospels – and yet we don’t really encourage each other to do it, do we! Although when I looked in the gospel of John up the mountain to try and see how Jesus prayed when he was there, sod’s law I couldn’t find a single reference! But instead found something else: that the most blessed of all babes born to men was… not Mary as the Catholics would probably vote… but.. can you guess? ……. It was John. (Jesus’ cousin; of course Jesus himself wasn’t purely a son of man. He doubled up as the Son of God as his Father was God.) John. But then we are told by Jesus that we are more precious to God than John. That takes some taking in.

But back to prayer, I also read John 17.1-5. When Jesus prayed he seemed to primarily pray for God’s glory to come… Father, the time has come. Glorify your Son, that your Son may glorify you. (v1); I have brought you glory on earth by completing the work you gave me to do.’(v4). This is how I guess we can also pray – not for our own selfish selves, but for the glory of the God who gave us life, to live for him!

The mountain itself was also really nice to climb; a bit scary, a woman alone on the mountain, but God led me to where to go on the roads and where to put my bike and then how to climb up and where to stop. I’m grateful to him for this.

And the cold in Japan combined with flying/slogging along on my bike reminded me of ski holidays in Austria! I went into a cool furnishings shop afterwards and bought a present for a friend back home.

I had dinner with the Fukuis, arriving unannounced but with Christmas present (not from me, but via me from someone in Singapore via Thailand through our team leader who went to a conference there…!) to have as my gift to the three kings (Luke, John and Jamie , aged 8, 6 and about 2, who like me). It wasn’t an easy day today- with important things to pray about, mid-term exams to take, and flunk, and an evening potentially alone, but to God be the glory as everything was perfect in Him.

Spot the difference

2007-12-01T15:27:00.000+09:00

Same temple, same tree. But one was in Spring 2005, and besides the 'ímportant' fact of the coat being pink, I was actually just a tourist at this time. So when I returned last week (Autumn 2007), to the same spot, with some classmates from around the world, and wasnt flying home afterwards, the difference kind of struck me. And I was glad of it.

Annual review calls for a word of reflection

2007-11-08T21:05:00.000+09:00

Thanks be to God. I think it’s really absolutely incredible, how God from the sky (although also all around us!), pieces together parts of our lives and understanding, and how that can really allow us to appreciate more of God’s amazing awesomeness and power. Let me give you some specifics….

For about 4 months now, God has been continually prompting me to read, re-read, and re-read, Psalm 2. Why? Until today I had no idea. In fact, I groan every time I feel Psalm 2 pop into my head again.

{It is a really odd psalm (a psalm by the way is a song written by someone who lived quite a number of years ago, in tis case at least). Psalm 2 is about, ‘How can the nations plot in vain?’ And God laughing at them for thinking they can get one up on him; and how Jesus (in predictive form – for he has not yet lived on earth), will be able to ask God for the nations as his inheritance, and how God will then dash to pieces those who have plotted against him. But how we can find refuge IN God.}
Wow, I must have read it a few times if I remember all that by heart! (maybe with some mistakes.)

Well I have indeed learned from the Psalm itself –that men are foolish when they set themselves up against God; that our power in seeking the nations for God, is in refuge in him. But today I came across perhaps the real reason for my repetitive reading – that I need to learn some ‘sticking power’.

I had my review of my year’s review (!) today, with our Field Leader here, and this came across as an area where I need to grow. God then spoke to me on getting home, that actually this is true, and he has already started on this through helping me to read this psalm faithfully and regularly. He also communicated to me that I can gain sticking power through listening to his prompts - for in him of course there is true faithfulness, for he never alters for his people. He has a faithful love, and a faithful justice. He will carry those through who put their faith in Jesus. He will allow to hell those who have not sought him to save them, as he said. And says. And says.

I really want and need and desire to be transformed more by God at the moment – and into the future long-term. I have been thinking about how to free myself up for that in my life, and who to ask to be my accountability partners in different areas (again as recommended by my wonderful Field Leader. I only wish I’d listened to him sooner – but sometimes it is only when we are in a situation that needs what someone has been recommending to you, that you truly hear what they are saying). So I see hope, and a long, good road of greater commitment, joy and peace.

Africa calls

2007-09-23T20:11:00.000+09:00

I've had a naughty evening. I should be swatting up for my grammar test on Tuesday, but instead I've borrowed someone's CDs (I should be feeding her fish while she's in South Africa, but hey the CDs were there, and the fish was already fed). Listening to African music again, after a decade now gone since living in Uganda for 8 months, in Zimbabwe for 2 months, and with a fellow Africa-lover at uni for two years, has made me remember a lost part of my life.

Oh how I love that part of African culture! The part where people are fighting for freedom, with such persuasion and uprightness. Where the hills sing out with freedom even when none seems to be there economically. Where me and my friends Ruth and Jo danced on the street outside the development studies building at Swansea uni (where we'd studied about colonialisation and post-colonialisation and SAPs and participatory development), barefoot, in our kangas and shawa kamise, at the end-of-year party.

Here's the lyrics to the song that brought all this back; it is about the need for political freedom in then-apartheid South Africa, and the men and women who gave up their lives for this cause to be noticed. When they start saying the names of those died for racial freedom and equality, I start to get angry at the injustice in the world, but proud to be aware of the issue and a part of the fight by caring.

Asimbonanga (mandela) by Johnny Clegg

Chorus:
Asimbonanga (We have not seen him)
Asimbonang' uMandela thina (We have not seen Mandela)
Laph'ekhona (In the place where he is)
Laph'ehlikhona (In the place where he is kept)

Oh the sea is cold and the sky is grey
Look across the Island into the Bay
We are all islands till comes the day
We cross the burning water

Chorus....

A seagull wings across the sea
Broken silence is what I dream
Who has the words to close the distance
Between you and me

Chorus....

Steve Biko
Victoria Mxenge
Neil Aggett

Asimbonanga
Asimbonanga 'umfowethu thina (we have not seen our brother)
Laph'ekhona (In the place where he is)
Laph'wafela khona (In the place where he died)
Hey wena (Hey you!)
Hey wena nawe (Hey you and you as well)
Sizofika nini la' siyakhona (When will we arrive at our destination)

So Mandela was kept captive on Robin Island across from the Cape Town Bay, others died unseen deaths, and the songwriter dreams of broken silence over their deaths, and people brought together in equality and unity rather than living as islands. This speaks for the injustice in society in itself, it doesn't need comparing with anything else. And yet it also reminds me of another story. That of our own fallenness in not following God, of the silence that needs to be broken between humans and God, for us needing to be brought together into God's large worldwide family. And the man who died for this is be accomplished - but who's death we didn't see.

Island life

2007-09-22T23:11:00.000+09:00

I had a lovely day today. I went with Simon to see this island. It is in Biwa Ko (near our group of churches in Japan). We went on a boat to get there and then went to a very plush little coffee shop once on the mainland again. All great fun!

My first attempt at TV journalism

2007-09-04T21:03:00.000+09:00

Today I did an interview with the club leader of the university Japanese flower arranging society, which I go to sometimes. On Thursday at my language school I am doing a presentation on ikebana (this art), and will show this to the class. Here's your sneak preview!

Thankful

2007-08-27T21:50:00.000+09:00

I'm just remembering God's goodness to me in such small ways over the past few years.

For example, when I went to Bulstrode (January-March 2006), there was a small sign on my door. It was this funny chicken, hanging off the door. As I use hens to characature myself, it just showed me that God wanted me there - on Candidates Course with WEC, in that room. No-one had put it here for my benefit; only God knew. And the card Laura, my mentor, gave me when I left, said how she'd had a picture of me on a roof or hill overlooking a city in the early morning, and that I could ask God for that city, as Abraham did for the promised land. When I arrived at my 'dorm' here, I used to go up to our roof in the early mornings, overlooking the roofs of Kyoto, to pray there, and it was only after about a month of doing that that I re-read Laura's card to me and realised it was true! These give me courage that God listens to our prayers and communicates with us today. Lately he's been speaking to me through the theatre, through movies, through friends' words cutting through me, through preaching from the Bible. Today Michael Ross-Watson prayed for me (he told me), from Singapore, and I benfitted, hugely. And as people pray for me, and I pray for others, we can only believe that these prayers are heard in the heavens and work.

The Importance of the Floor in Japanese Culture

2007-08-23T20:36:00.000+09:00

**The Importance of the Floor in Japanese Culture**

This is the title of the book, or chapter of a book, I’ll probably never write, seeing as I won’t have done the properly authorized academic research on the topic. However, today I write from my thoughts.

Life on the Floor
Each day in Japan, at least in rural areas, people sit on the floor. Traditional Japanese rooms have tatami as their floor covering – this is a reed like structure, which smells nice, and consists of same sized mats taped together, hoovered as often as needed, and changed every 1-5 years. In fact, Japanese ‘mansions’ (how bedsits are referred to in Japan), are measured out in tatami mats, as are rooms of older, larger houses too. A four by four tatami mat sized room is really rather small, just enough size for a desk or bed, whereas a six by eight, or eight by eight, or ten by ten sized room, is really getting on for quite a decent size (for Japanese standards).

As well as sitting on the floor for a large part of everyday activities – breakfast, lunch, dinner, watching TV, playing with the kids, taking a nap, entertaining guests – the floor is also used as a bed frame. In the West, we tend to think of a futon as a low wooden structure (from Ikea often!), with a mattress on top, which often transfers into a sofa. But in Japan a futon has no frame; it is merely a mattress on the floor. That mattress, or ‘futon’, is more like two duvets in feel, rather than the thick springy Western affair. Saying all that, a futon really is fine to sleep on, and comfortable enough.

Japanese dance and the centre of gravity
Western dance frequently relies on the dancer using the air above them in beautiful displays of acrobatics. Ballet, for example, involves the dancer springing up into the air, and being very light footed, if not silent, on return to ground level. Japanese dance appears totally different. The centre of reference for the body is not the air above, but the floor below – and specifically just below the dancers’ feet. Those feet are on display, often stamped loudly, and indeed some stamps in many types of traditional dance (as I saw in Kyoto’s Schijo theatre on Monday), indicate that the scene is changing and a new event is soon to occur. In Western theatre of course this is often signified by a ‘’curtain call’, where the curtains swish to, from top to bottom. The Japanese in contrast prefer the rising sound of the solid sounds of the dancers’ feet on the floor.

The dance itself involves a low centre of gravity; the dancers knees are often bent, getting lower and lower for important scenes.

After writing this paragraph and looking for a relevant picture, here is what I found on the internet:

"The Japanese dance form is different from ballet and other western dances. The big steps and jumps of ballet and other western dances signify the desire to escape this earth - striving to reach the heavens. Japanese dance, however, consists of movements requiring bent knees and a low center of gravity. This emphasis on being close to the ground shows the desire of Japanese dancers to remain in contact with the earth - the constant source of their energy."

When to Avoid the Floor
Last but not least is an important feature in the Japanese mind: cleanliness. Cleanliness of what? Of the floor of course! Bags in the classroom are usually put behind the bottom of the student on the seat, or else hung on hooks from the desks. They are not put on the floor. Likewise on trains, look around, and you’ll frequently see just a few bags on the floor per carriage. One of these probably belongs to a foreigner on the train, and the other two are likely briefcases of tired businessmen who are not going by the rules, (although briefcases only have a very narrow point of contact with the floor, of course, and so are perhaps an exception). Other people, especially women, keep their bags, however large or small, or their laps of on the seat beside them.

Why all this care? Because the floor is for sitting on, for sleeping on, for the kids to crawl around on, for eating very near (using low tables). Even on the train, which is not used for any of these things, the viewpoint of the floor as being a place which needs to be kept clean still carries. Bags are dirty, shoes are dirty: slippers and socks are clean.

Why this article?
It is because I have gradually come to believe some of these things, in fact I live them out - such as taking my slippers off before I enter my matted bedroom - that I have decided to write this article. And it is through writing this article that I hope and believe that others, those living inside Japan and those far away, will come to see a new and holy aspect of Japanese culture.

Camp time

2007-07-31T10:21:00.000+09:00

My wonderful evening chat

2007-07-30T23:19:00.000+09:00

In preparation for the talk I am giving on saturday night on Moses at the Family camp, I had my Japanese corrected tonight by a lovely girl called Aki, 28 years old. She had a beautiful face. She had never met me before (but we'd be introduced over text messages for this task through a mutual friend), but she came with such a willing attitude. She didn't even want me to buy her a cup of tea, whereas I'd wanted to buy her her dinner as a way of saying 'thanks'! She sat with me til 10.30pm (for 4 hours)!

After the long translation work, she asked me lots of questions about how I'd come to faith and how I decided to be a missionary here. She was kind of in awe - she literally had tears in her eyes at the thought of me learning Japanese and trying to give a message to the Japanese people. But (and maybe this is just me being Christian), actually I was overcome by her and her attitude of selflessness. She was sooo generous. I accept and expect some kind of drink or something for thanks for my time at times when I am in her position, but she didn't. In addition, she had genuiness in her questions to me, and honesty in her answers to my questions.

She is going to get married in November, to a man she met at uni CU (KGK) as a student, who wants to work for three more years in his company and then they will both go to seminary and he will become a church pastor. This was a big decision for her - could she be a pastor's wife? She really feels no adequacy in herself for this role, or even desire for it, plus she knows they will stick out in this country where the Christain church is such a minority and she wouldn't have chosen that. Therefore deciding to marry someone that wants to stick out like that was a tough decision. But he reassured her she could be herself, and she added that she 'appreicates' him. And I guess this is the Japanese way of talking about love; not the 'love love' (romantic) approach that is normally talked of here by all yong people - but a real appreication of a real person. So meeting with her tonight has just given me lots to think about.

I also realised she is the first Japanese Christian I've met in this city (apart from one lady in my church), and the first in my cohort - 28, single, working. It was a real pleasure to be blessed by her in such an incredble way, and there's likely more like her out there!

Are you transactional or interactional?

2007-07-22T19:13:00.000+09:00

I was having a conversation with a friend last week, where we discussed the advantages and pitfalls of growth-in-numbers-orientated Christian mission, otherwise known as the rapid church growth model. In short, does having quantitative targets (of the numbers of churches we aim to plant, and the numbers of members we aim to have in them), provide a focus for us as mission workers (or we could say for anybody who's part of a church) to strive towards and thus achieve more, or does it negate the uniqueness of the individuals being 'reached' and thus dishonour them along with the God who made them unique?

I was on the numbers side, having being trained in that when I worked as a fundraiser and had to answer to people giving big sums of money in order to see 'results'; my friend was on the individual's side; but we both gained new perspective through talking it over. I think I saw that the numbers model really only applies to the planning stage at the start, and as a way to review our vision as things move on. It cannot be used on an everyday level, when relating to people. What's more, we cannot control those numbers, only God can.

However we could have something like this when preparing our vision-statment:

# I want to help people who are depressed out of depression, using individualised approaches appropriate to thier needs.
# I aim to help 5 people out of depression every year for the next three years.
# By having this aim, I hope to get off my backside and into the area of my intended action, and will review if I started to do this in three months time by seeing if I have found (or seriously looked for) one person to help :-)

Today I had another conversation where someone had a choice of which approach to use. What happened was this: I asked a friend how his daughter was, as she has recently moved abroad. He asked in reply, 'Do you mean her visa issue?' No, I didn't mean her visa issue. I wanted to know how she was! But my friend naturally focussed on a task associated with that person, rather than the person themselves. He is in a great interactional relationship with her, and yet when conversing with me about her, she became the subject of a transaction for him - in this case a visa one (rather than a numbers one).

So the question is:

Do we deal with people, or relate to people?
Do we treat people as transactions, or interactions?
Are we transactional, or interactional?

How are Japanese schools?

2007-07-21T20:57:00.000+09:00

This week I went to Gifu prefecture, Japan, specifically to the town of Tajimi. Why? Well my language school organised it, for our language and cultural benefit. And it was brilliant! So well organised - I see now why people like bus holidays just be taken direct to restaurants that are waiting for you, and then off to some sightseeing spot, just saves time so you can do more in a short time. (NB. Obviously it's fun to search for your own restaurant; this is just a different choice of holiday!)

Our trip was quite high-profile; we even met the major of the town, went in the city offices, and were clapped by all the pupils of the high school we spent 24 hours with. We each spent time with a designated class (mine was Class 3B, the 15 year olds of Heiwa ('peace') Junior High School), and it was fascinating to see the differences between UK and Japanese schools.

First of all, there's a lot more student-led activities in Japanese schools compared to UK schools. There were two class leaders (they are changed every six months), a oy and a girl, and they led all the non-study times. This included the school song in the morning, keeping timing of the private study period before the first lesson started, they organised two class games in the break, they gave greeting practices to the class, and then played them out for real as they welcomed the teachers to the front when it was their turn. On their command, we all bowed, and then chanted, 'Onegaishimasu', which kind of means 'thanks for taking the trouble to help us from here'. At the end of the lesson we stood up again and bowed, saying 'arigatou gozaimasu' (thank you very much) to the teacher. The same student-led approach happened in the sports time. The students do sports every day, and choose which sports club they are in. I joined the girls’ volleyball team. No teacher was present in our club, so the girls arranged it themselves: ball 'digging' practices outside, and then inside, and then playing dodgeball, (until we were told off by a teacher for not putting up the volleyball net).

Second, there were more varied activities than just lessons. For example there was the class song after the lunch break, (different to the school song in the morning). They always have one on the go, practicing it about six times before moving onto a new one. Each classroom has a piano in it, and the teacher told me there was always one student who could play the piano. So one student did, and the rest of the class sang, producing a wonderful sound in four-part harmony! It was absolutely incredible to listen to. And for 5 minutes either side we could hear the other Year 3 classes also singing the same song in their classrooms! The students seemed to really enjoy it, one or two even had their eyes closed they were so into it! Now in the UK, I don't think you would get all the tough 15-year old boys singing like that, or even the male teacher joining in loudly, in his PE kit! Another activity (apart from the games mentioned above) was the school cleaning. Now Japanese schools don't employ cleaners - the students do it all. For us, 20 minutes each day, after lunch. Each student knows which area they are responsible for, so just get on with it. This means kids don't drop litter, and again they respect the teachers by even cleaning their offices.

Third, because of the student-led decisions, there was a real group culture, and didn't seem to be the unfriendly cliques that come up in British schools, (or at least in mine, way back when). Everyone seemed to be friends, (apart from one little boy who kept very quiet and had his head engrossed in Harry Potter in every break, and was wearing an old wholly t-shirt, inside out, which made me feel quite sad for him). Even lunch was eaten in the classroom: the students moved the desks together to make two large tables, then each student brought out their own little colourful cloth and chopsticks, spread the cloth out on their desk, and then the student volunteers dished out the lunch at the front - rice, stew, yogurt and a carton of milk. Afterwards they did scissors-paper-stone game to see who would collect everyone's dishes - and that person took all the dishes to the sink, broke up the milk cartons in the right manner for recycling, and then a small team went out to the sinks outside the classroom to do the washing up. Impressed?!

After the school experience I went back with one of the teachers for my 'homestay' experience. The family was so relaxed, I was so surprised. I was also surprised that the husband really pulled his weight - we all went to the supermarket together, the husband then made sushi and sashimi (raw fish), rolling it out on the mat, while the wife made tempura (deep fried fish) and salad. The leftover sushi was ready for breakfast! They asked why I was learning Japanese (of course!), so I told them I hoped to work in Japan, for a church, (hoping they wouldn't feel too embarrassed seeing as they'd already told me how they liked drinking!) As a result, they thought they'd take me to see one of the town's main highlights: Japan's main Catholic monastery, which is actually where they got married 20 years ago. The monastery produces it's own wine from a vineyard outside, so all the wedding reception guests can also have wine from there! They were also kind in that the wife had got some books out from the library on England, so we could look at them and I could show her where I was from; and she also had some Roybos tea and milk ready for breakfast!

I slept in the spare room - a tatami mat room downstairs. Not a very good night's sleep as it was hot, and I thought I had been told the teenage boys were in the room behind the screen so I wasn't very relaxed; as it happened I was wrong! The whole family love basketball, and also having fun - before the couple had their two children (now 17 and 14), they liked going to Spain for the bars there! Just not very Japanese at all. They did give me a gift when I left, some bath salts; I had embarrassing forgotten to bring mine (English tea!), so sent it through the post yesterday.

How do you wash your hair?

2007-07-20T12:51:00.000+09:00

My colleague Deborah is gradually being sucked in by all these personality quizes, which is actually quite fun cos then she does them on me when I go to visit her, and we both get to giggle lots. The latest (last night) was what part of my body enters the shower-water first: shoulders, face or hair. I replied probabaly my big toe, and from there up; shoulders the first of the three. For her, her hair is wet before she knows it, she said. Two different approaches to life?!

The other one shared last night was, if I saw a picture of a rectangle, a triangle, a circle or a heptagon, which would I pick? I hummed and harred between the cirle and rectangle, then chose the circle. Apparently this means I am very diplomatic. If I had chosen the rectangle, I would instead have been very domineering.

The last was about my blood type. I am A-positive. I can't actualy remember what this says about me - maybe cautious or cheerful or something?!

The Shiga Jesus Festival

2007-07-16T21:17:00.001+09:00

Today was a public holiday in Japan. I knew nothing about the earthquake until just now, although of course I feel sorry for those affected further north.

Instead, today in my neck of the woods was The Jesus Festival. This was for Christians in Shiga ken, neighbouring county to Kyoto. WEC played a good part in it, as well as choirs and speakers and exhibitionists from other churches and organisations. Pictures can be seen on this website
We ran a mission simulator; three people were dressed up representing three make-believe cultures, and visitors to the booth had to enter by getting their mock passport stamped at 'immigration', then view different objects that we take for granted here (like toilet roll, clean water, school-books) that not everyone has in other countries, before meeting people from these other cultures. It was great fun. People particularly enjoyed seing Juergan dressed (undressed!) as a fisherman and seeing how they could engage with him! As for me? I was drawing in the crowds, along with two others, by giving out passports around the site, and pouring people drinks.

べんきょう

2007-07-13T11:48:00.001+09:00

Did fine if not well in my test this week: 88%. :-)

I did a presentation yesterday (in Japanese), on Jesus. I showed this YouTube video first and then did a powerpoint thing and then had some questions from the class and teacher which were all very good ones.

Yesterday we were given our homework for the holidays: to complete two 10-page booklets of vocab, read a short story (that looks very long when it's not in your first language ) and answer questions on it, and also to do an essay on an aspect of Japanese culture of our choice, and prepare a presentation on it. As the class groaned over the thought of the essay, I can't wait to do this one only! I started this morning, in English first, then I'll translate. I'll post it on here when done (probably!) So there goes my free time this holidays! ;-)

Chatting

2007-07-11T16:12:00.002+09:00

I haven't written for a while so here goes. I met one of my neighbours last week; we had very strong coffee and cheesecake together. I hope to see more of her when time permits.

I also spent the weekend with the Wilsons (another WEC family here). It was cool. We saw Andy (aged 8) being a mascot for a company football team on Sunday afternoon; the match was televised and apparently my face was on screen! We also acccumlated loads of mosquito bites as we played in the woods and ate ban-gohan outside the day before; my leg is currently bruised and swollen. But the experience of being in natural scenery of woods and waterfall was lovely.

Had a test today; I quite enjoyed it. It wasn't too hard; just vocab on personality characteristics, jobs and types of company; and grammer constructions you use when describing the same topics. Mariko is going to be skiving off class two days a week from now on as she has a new arabeito. From now til the end of term I am the only Western face in the crowd!

Not long to go... then holidays! Here's my latest pic with some of my class.

Godmothers

2007-06-15T11:11:00.001+09:00

One of the things I am most grateful to my godmother for was giving me a printed version of 1 Corinthians 13, which I had hanging on my bedroom wall for my childhood from about the age of 7 onwards. I could see it from my bed, and I would read it. This passage is spelling out what love is. The words, 'Love remembers no wrongs' come to my mind today, trying to strike home to my heart, but my stomach tightens, and my heart's blood almost bubbles up, squeezing them back up to the cerebral, painfully.

Carol, my godmother, was a Christian. No doubt she prayed for me; she also gave me and my mum Bible study booklets for kids, to read together, which was my introduction to a relationship with this person called Jesus who the author seemed to love. It worked! I wanted to know Jesus too! Carol is now with the Lord, as she moved on there from the age of 43 or thereabouts. Maybe I can also give Samuel, who I am now responsile for, the words of life one day soon.

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8Love never fails.

Dreaming in context

2007-06-10T21:21:00.000+09:00

A busy two weeks is ahead: tomorrow kanji test, Tuesday grammer test, next week mid-term tests. But I still had time to go out for a walk by the river in the dusk just now, and was met at the end of my walk by Winston, one of my (many) housemates, and we then went for another stroll and talked about life. He is interesting, as he studies philosophy back home in the States. We talked about my future ideas for missionary work in Japan (whether I will be the one to do it or not is another matter, but I have it in mind that someone should). Those topics were family breakdown/recovery, and suicide rates/counselling. He asked some good questions, like "Who's to say that the Japanese businessman's way of loving his wife by paying the rent and providing financially (even though he works til 11pm at night and doesn't attempt to meet his wife's emotional needs) isn't 'love' in Japanese culture?" and "Doesn't the Western way of marriage standards (whether they're met or not is a different question) have problems in thier own right?" It has given me loads to think about in terms of interacting with a different culture, as well as a desire to plan my future at some strateic point so that I do know where I'm going. I do think it's beautiful and 'right'to live each day as it comes, and see what God throws up for us, I have thought about that quite a bit recently (God-led I think). But I also think for some fulfilment of dreams we need training in certain areas, and that requires some thought. I'm lucky now to be in the period before having to step forward; I can listen to the world about me, and learn in my heart, and dream without having to see those dreams as yet disapppointed or fulfilled.

Fuyuko on relationships

2007-05-27T18:48:00.000+09:00

Praise God for Fuyuko. We first met in January, and today we also met - it felt so good to see a JAPANESE friend again after a term so far of Taiwanese and Americans, and she is so honest and pretty amazing in her thoughts.

She split up with her boyfriend in Britain (she spent last year in Britain) as, she says, her feelings didn't match her actions, so she spent a lot of time wondering about if it was right before concluding that the poor guy didnt really know her and care for her real self. (Also, she didnt like him so much as all he wanted to do was go to the pub and prat about, by the sounds of it.) But with her new boyfriend it's quite different. She doesn't think about it so much, not because she has stopped being a thinker or assessor of who they are, but because he just suits her. They are able to discuss their thoughts and feelings and are more similar in personality. They sometime squabble - usually on the fourth day of five together, and every four months or so. But by and large she's happy.

She said she thinks the PROCESS of thinking through relationships is more important than the CONCLUSION. I must agree. Through the process, we discover more about ourselves, we can develop confidence in our decision-making skills (mine have far to develop still), and we can then live with our decisions in the light of why we chose those things.

Of course Fuyuko is not a Christian. Her actions not being in line with her feelings might well mean sleeping with her ex-boyfriend, despite not caring for him a great deal. She watches Sex and the City (a US sitcom popular around the world these days), and that hasn't got great messages of stable or celibate relationships before marriage. However, I do think she has developed a great way of thinking with regard to how she questions herself. Although as a Christian I'd also want to be asking God for his input in any situation, and also testing my thinkng and actions through the Bible, and also asking God to change me, I still think what she said about process and conclusion is very wise and I like most of her answers too.

For her job, she looks after two autistic children at a regular school. She wonders how best to help them. She trys to implement some changes - like music therepy. She's been thinking it's a shame they have to learn Japanese kanji, plus hiragana and katakana (writing symbols), as there are just so many. If it were English they had to learn, it would be much simpler to learn to read and write with just 27 letters or so. I dont know if the government can do anything about that, but I liked her thoughts about it.

New Life!

2007-05-26T08:51:00.000+09:00

You might remember that while up Tokyo Tower in December I prayed for the unborn babies of three couples I treasure. Well the first, my niece Daisy, is doing fine. And the other two were both born in the last 24 hours! Here they are!

Congratulations, Jo and Chuka on the birth of Gioia, and to John and Sally for Jeremiah! (not to mention proud brothers and sisters!)

Catching up on....

2007-05-22T22:46:00.000+09:00

I've been reminded that I haven''t written for a while. Life has been good though! Today I saw my Thai friend for the afternoon; we sat in the university cafe and studied Japanese together. On Saturday I have a BBQ with my classmates, on the river bank.

On Thursday mornings now I study the Bible in the mornings, just for an hour, but in a simplified Japanese version! It is my favourite time of the week - time in my room, with the sun coming in, at an unrushed pace. The rest of the week is filled with language learning, I have started teaching the tea ceremony lady English once a fortnight or week, seeing special people, the church prayer meeting and of course church services. Last Friday I went to an Omatsuri with Masako san. It wasnt much fun to see "God" paraded round in a box on stilts, but it was a good "cultural experience" I guess and it was nice to hang out with Masako and her son. He ate quantities of noodles and funny pasta.

My parents head to Caterham to see my brother, sister-in-law, nieces, and my auntie this week, followed by Woodbridge, Suffolk for another uncle plus a visit from my sister. I realised I carry round the world a lot of funny things when I was able to look out the contact card of a resturant in Woodbridge, and give my mum their phone number to book a meal! from Japan!

OK, thats me for now, will write again soon!

If you are English you are....

2007-05-12T01:00:00.000+09:00

I have just been told what the world thinks of the English by my Indonesian 17-year-old neighbour. It was during a party in our house so he was speaking more freely than normal.

Apparently the English are esteemed for two things:
1/ football (my friend knew lots of english city names through their football teams)
2/ and Mr Bean (which is on TV every night in Indonesia! by the way, if anyone out there sees a Mr Bean doll in a shop, please could you buy one for him? its his No.1 wanted-item!).

But as for the English as people?
Well they are also two things:
1/ arrogant
2/ wasteful & extravagent.

I found my own example for the arrogant - I watched a hugely cringeworthy interview/TV show with Hugh Grant on Japanese TV a few weeks ago. He was awful. His jokes were arrogant, and culturally way-WAY-off-line. He was taken to a lovely Japanese restaurant, but told them the food was disgusting (his joke), and that the hostess was stupid for dropping something (his joke). His attitude seemed to be that he could snigger at Japanese customs, as no-one he knew would be watching him anyway.

My Indonesia friend had his own example of why we are extravagent and wasteful - in two words (from his mouth): Victoria Beckham. and in three more: too much money.

Now that was someone being honest... although I of course was told I was exempt ;-)

Looking Into the Face of God

2007-05-08T15:04:00.000+09:00

Chang Kyu preached a great sermon on Sunday, about looking at God's face. He used the example that he might return home and his daughter would immediately look at his hands - what had he brought for her? He said some Christians are like that - we look at what God can give us. We look at his hands. But he said a real love relationship was to look at someone's face.

This relates to me in my relationships. Am I wanting to gaze at people's faces, admiring them for who they are, and not at how I can benefit through knowing them? I am ashamed to say I am far from that. Am I looking to do the same with God, who is wonderful?

My church (in Oxford) is great at worship - looking into the face of God. It seems to me that some of the more 'traditional churches' talk about Christ's death so much, that they are in danger of focussing on God's hands: what he can give to us, salvation being top of the list. If God hadn't sent Jesus, our faith (in a God who shows mercy and has and will redeem us) might be in vain, as we wouldn't after all be spending eternity with him, but that wouldn''t take away God's greatness. He would stil deserve to be worshipped, do you think? Not for gratitude for life,but with awe of who he is? I am not suggesting Christ's death is not central - without it I would be lost - but without it God would still be whole, although history (and His plans through it) would be very different.

Sunday sunshine

2007-04-29T22:48:00.000+09:00

Today two male students came to church with me, from my house and the language school. Very few people were there as Golden Week (Japan's holiday week) is about to start - in fact only one apart from the missionaries came (and two kids), but thankfully new missionary Simon came too which was God's amazing providence. They seemed to enjoy it OK, although it felt a bit awkward at times due to lack of people. We had lunch all together and they chatted lots.

After that it was a glorious day so it was great to sit by the river, and after some time back home, eat okonomiyaki out with a friend. All in all it's been a good day!

My kinda life

2007-04-29T22:45:00.000+09:00

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Double standards?

2007-04-26T21:08:00.000+09:00

I realised today I have quite different standards for myself (and those of a similar nationality to me) than I do for the Asian students here.

This evening as I sat in my room trying to fill in the gaps on my worksheet from a Japanese language CD, I suddenly heard a louder noise: loud sobs. I went out and there was one of the new girls, Sue, heading to her room, sobbing uncontrollably as she went. The problem? Well I'm not allowed to tell the others in the house who it concerns, but as none of them have yet discovered this blog (or even know my surname so aren't likely to!), I can tell you: it was because a plan she thought she had made for the weekend with the other housemates had fallen through, as due to different transport preferences, the other Taiwanese boy in the house seemed to be excluding her from it. Why was this so upsetting, for a 25 year old? Because this 25-year-old was in a foreign country, and had come to see the Taiwanese boy (as well as the Taiwanese girl) as family espicially, as they were from the same country. She felt he was no longer a friend, or family.

In our classes, often the Taiwanese students sit together, as do the Korean students. That has been fine with me, as I've managed to fit in - inbetween a Chinese student and a Taiwanese student, as it happens. My best friend from my old class was Man Min; my friend in my new class is Tan Lin. Man Min. Tan Lin. Kinda memorable.

But recently, there was another European girl in my class, from Venice. (She has now moved classes though). In the first lesson, she was delighted we were both 'Your-rop-pa-jin' (European, in Japanese!) and couldn't stop referring to it. In the student cafe afterwards she said we must sit together from then on, as we were both 'your-rop-pa-jin'. This really annoyed me. Not only was I wanting to make friends with the two Chinese girls I had sat with that day, but I also I felt she was being very racist, not thinking the Asian students could really be her friends. The more she said to me how awful it was that there were so few 'your-rop-pa-jins' in the school, the more I became irritated, til I finally answered to her, 'Well you have come to live in Japan!'

But yet, have I ever questioned the Asian students sitting together, cooking together, chatting together? No! In fact, today, when Sue was crying and feeling so betrayed by her fellow Taiwanese student, I only felt admiration that they could so quickly feel family-ties simply because they had come from the same country.

Maybe I am a bit odd. Quite likely it's the missionary training in me (& specfically the voice of Len Bartlotti in my ears), that knows if we don't make efforts to branch out beyond our 'own', the 'other' will never become our friend. Remember those shoes of readiness that come from the gospel of peace (Ephesians 5) that we've been fitted with? Well they're for crossing borders! Without giving them some wear and tear, peace between nations, between genders, between the ordinary and the divine, will lack it's full potential. Or maybe other English people are also odd. There's only one other in the school, and we've only just learnt each others' names (his is Daniel, mine's Henrietta- actually I don't know if he does know my name, come to think of it) - and that's after seven months of standing silently together, squashed into the school lift (with breaks for lessons and sleep and the like of course). I think he usually prefers to be squashed into his Taiwanese girlfriend rather than into conversation with the girl from England. But regardless of nationality, the other English speakers (whether they be Thai, German or American), yes, I do feel I have more to talk about and connect over. For example there's one girl from Thailand who used to be a journalist, and had an English boss. We get on really well. But this Italien girl and I could only speak Japanese to each other. And, come to think of it, I have never even been in a Gondala. I've always preferred camels.

So, nothing much then.

2007-04-18T23:20:00.000+09:00

Now I'm not sure what I've been doing, but obviously not writing my blog for a while! But come to think, maybe I have been quite busy...
*Yes, I hosted my friend Toni from Barnstaple for a week. We saw all sorts of things together in Kyoto and Hiroshima.
*Last night I hosted Rosanne Jones, the (UCCF) lady who was a big step in me getting here! She asked lots of good questions and even managed to sleep in my room and sit on the floor round my Japanese-style low table for breakfast, which was quite some feat. She also managed to wear one my slippers and one of her own this morning without realising (maybe she didnt sleep so well after all!), and also got shut in a room this morning (holding her coffee in-limbo) by me in a fright on hearing footseps approaching up the stairs,as I wasnt really supposed to have the key for that room in the first place! That'll teach me!
*I've preached a sermon! Which went Ok I think! And been blessed by God through it mseylf and through what he teaches us about gudiance in the Bible.
* And I did NOT enjoy my biggest earthquake ever as I practiced the sermon in an empty church! (being real here. i was preparing to scarper, heart pounding, shoes at the ready.)
* I started back at language school and have 14 new classmates, 1 old classmate, and three new teachers. Oh, and some new vocabularly to learn!
*I hosted two welcome parties for the new students in my halls/dorm-house. They went off very well!
*I have caught three colds in three weeks.
*I have been to the famous Himeji castle and had a conversation with a missionary from a different religion under the cherry blossoms there, and received his literature while explaining the theme of Amazing Grace as the band chottled it out!
*I have not had a proper day off (to myself) for about three weeks now. But on the other hand I have had good times with friends.
*I have met the tea ceremony teacher who I will teach English to. She has a church history too which is, wow, unexpected.
*I have enjoyed reading Joshua each day, of the story of the Israelites entering the promised land. Wow, they had to be so obedient to God!

Tracking My Habitations

2007-04-02T09:53:00.000+09:00

Off to the WEC Retreat today. Here are the other places I've been!

create your own visited country map

Lovesick baby :)

2007-03-31T16:00:00.000+09:00

Feeling kinda sick. Think I'm feeling stressed, with uncertainties.

First things first, my niece has been born! On Wednesday evening, 28 March. She is Daisy Mary. She is in hospital as isn't so well, so we all want her to get better soon, then we can all breathe out and feel truely celebratory. She looks beautiful though. I feel it's a special thing, and like I am in love with her already (see picture).

The other thing this week is that I've been reuntied with all these old Swansea CU and Relay people, through joining a new web-network called Facebook. I feel a little overwhelmed, reading messages to everyone from everyone. It's always nice to to get these messages yourself, but it means you're kept really busy with it, plus it makes me feel a bit homesick. However, I have reminded myself, even if I was at home, I have long since left behind the student lifestyle that some of them still seem to be having...or maybe we are just reminising of it again!

Third, language school starts again at the end of next week, but before then I have one friend visiting from home, and maybe two (haven't head back from the second one yet). Plus I have two WEC retreats, plus English lessons with a tea-ceremony teacher to think about.

A couple of people have sent me emails about learning kanji, which has been good. Today I finished off my kanji homework, and also did big posters for my bedroom wall with around 50 on. I also want to swot up on road signs here today on the internet, and also call a friend about his flight over, another slight tricky thing.

So all in all, things are good, my health is getting better, but my stress is rising, just a little, with new things round the corner.

Influencing the media

2007-03-28T22:38:00.000+09:00

Even the BBC are reporting on bloggers blogposts:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/6456027.stm
This is truely postmodern journalism: the people speak!

New things of ill and good

2007-03-28T16:27:00.000+09:00

Spring is coming, I have (finally) spent some good time with God this week so far, but I am also ill (since Saturday). The good part of this is that I have listened to about 6 sermons (!) through the web, from St Aldates and London JCF and OCC.

Today 'Otosan' decided to offer me a TV! So not only have I got a new room, but also a guitar (lent by Victor just for the holidays), two bookshelves and two chairs (increase from my previous one, bargain!) and now a TV too! Very fortunate. Praying too for a low table to have people to sit round!

Friends I'm So Proud Of

2007-03-23T23:51:00.000+09:00

Of course I am so proud of many of my friends, but here's four who I feel espeically proud of right now who are up on the www. Click on their names and you can discover their passions!

Simon, in his talk on the mission of God, preached last Sunday at London Japan Christian Fellowship
Jennie, crazy girl from my time in Africa and my Wimbledon summer job, who died in 2004. She now has a trust set up in her name; you can support poor kids in Africa through it! I also have a link to it on my right panel now.
Adrian and Ruth, who spoke on Radio Oxford last weekend about how God saved their lives through prayer last summer; I remember it well. You can listen to them again up until this Sunday night. (they say: You need to click the 'Listen Again' button and then 'Journeys with Mike Beaumont' and fast-forward 45 minutes and then wait a couple of minutes)

2007-03-23T21:58:00.000+09:00

I've had a great week. I really feel like I'm on holiday now. I've realised that, although I've had other days 'off' since arriving here in Septemeber, I haven't really relaxed until now; there's always been too many things to learn for me to really relax. But it's happened! This week was a breakthrough, and I really enjoyed it!

First of all, I went to Hikone, (via some offices in Otsu to get some papers to get a Japanese driving license, and also via a missionary couple's house in Kutastu where I had a cup of tea). In Hikone I stayed with the couple who lead WEC Japan, and thier two daughters. As well as doing some official stuff, I also visited Hikone castle, pictured here! It was a crisp day and despite getting 3 phone calls from my language teacher during the day, it was fun to explore and climb up inside the castle. It is listed as one of the top 20 spots to visit in Japan; kinda surprising it must be said. As I am 'officially' resident in Hikone (due to staying with WEC leaders there my first week), I got in for free! In the evening, we watched the DVD Hotel Rwanda together.

On Wednesday I cycled back to Yamashina, via Kusatsu again (with a car ride too), where I stayed til today, seeing Deborah. I also saw another cultural spot, Daigo, with friend Yuki and a guy I met in Macdonalds and his friend, as shown here.

I was going to cycle home yesterday, but it was raining, so after lunch with two nuns (by default, Deborah's choice ;), I actually came home today. But as it was still morning, I decided to cycle the other way down the river first, and I saw two new places: Toji terra (see below), and Fushimi inari (red arches) where I filmed part of the mountain-side route.

My room-neighbour Yo Shure leaves Sunday, so I told her tonight I am around tomorrow if she wants to do anything together. I feel kinda bad I haven't been around. Valerio and I just spent ages in the kitchen too; he was bored. I am very lucky really having people to see; I would be bored too if I hadn't come with any aim beyond language learning.

So my holiday continues but now 'at home'. I am now looking forward to moving rooms, on Monday, which is good. Until now I decided to move but wasn't ready 'inside' to, but now, I am ready. It's good for me to prepare myself for the next semester in there I think, and also prepare for hosting my guest there the following week.

Toji pagoda (left) Fushimi inari: red arches up the mountain

It's the end of the world as we know it, but I feel fine

2007-03-17T12:02:00.000+09:00

200 km, or 125 miles: that is the distance I've cycled over the last 2 days, taking a total of 26 hours. Wow!

The purpose? Well just fun really. A great way to relax, and see Lake Biwa, around which WEC work. Here's a video clip.

Lake Biwa, or Biwa Ko as it is known here, is Japan's largest lake, and is one of the 7 oldest lakes in the world. Because it is so old, it has lots of rare species of flora and fauna in it and around it. I saw some of it, even two monkeys!

My companion was French friend Mirabelle. We set out at 7am from Kyoto on Thursday morning, and cheered when we eventually saw Lake Biwa one and a half hours later. It was a hard slog, we could only stop for 30 minutes for lunch, and for the odd photo or 'conveni' stop, and arrived at our night stop-over in Kinomoto at 7pm.

The next day (yesterday) we set out in the glorious sunshine from Kinamoto at 7.30am, going through three horrible tunnels through the mountains and then out into the most stunning landscape of wild beauty. The only English song Mirabelle could think of was 'Singing in the Rain', so I followed it up with 'It's the End of the World as We Know It' which was more apt for the how we felt about the landscape, even though 'Sur Le Pont, D'Avignion' also made the hitlist as my one French song. About 3pm we reached a beach and lay there in triumph, thinking it was nearly over. We even stopped off in the Wilson's house for a cup of tea!

But we had not antcipated the long ride home. We finished getting round the lake at 9pm, but then were faced with nightsky and busy traffic to get back into Kyoto, and a route we didn't know how to get onto. In the end, tiredness (and perhaps common sense) took over and rather dejectedly we got the train back to Kyoto from Otsu (the start of the lake). But today I just feel happy. Sore, but happy, and planning how to retrieve my bike on Monday (ironically trying to combine it with visiting an office in Otsu to get my UK driving license translated in order to get my Japanese one!) Yeh, I like biking.

Why is it hard to be a missionary?

2007-03-13T21:43:00.000+09:00

I have been told by two missionary ladies recently that this line of work and life is hard. I am still trying to work out why.

I am reading George Whitefield's biography. For him, wow, it was incredibly hard! He travelled the breadth of America on horseback practically, preaching up to three times a day, and inbetween praying with people, setting up orphanages, battling against the mistreatment of black slaves.

But here it seems a little different. We are fairly static, we preach once a week (well, some do), I personally build on relationships, I have the pleasure of recognising I am in God's will.

One missionary said missionary life is hard here because we live in a culture different to our country's, all day, every day. Someone else I think meant it was because her life is very busy. I question both concepts, not because they're not true, they are, but are they different to others?

My brother, I am aware, works very hard in London. He also has family responsibilities, and takes an active part in the church: youth group, mens and mission meetings, sometimes preaching. He doesn't often get time to call me.

I also think of my friend Jo in the Netherlands. She is living outside her British home culture, and although she is adaptable and is 'into' langauges, it is also hard for her. Her husband works for an oil company and she stays home to look after their two (nearly three) children. She has to approach 'foreign' mums in the nursey, to attempt to make friends while feeling left out in the large part. She is also a Christian.

I also met Ingrid recently, here in Kobe. She is here to to be with her husband-of-one-year. She didn't choose to visit beforehand as, she said, she 'knew she would hate it'. But she made that sacrifice to be with the man she loves, and she also seeks to follow God in her life.

These aspects of cultural adaption, and being stretched to capacity within work and life, are therefore not unique to missionary life, as they might have been in the old days. I am not saying living abroad, or having work to do which can be day and night, isn't hard, but I am saying I don't think these reasons are worth stating too much. We risk stepping on someone else's toes!

For me, I think living differently to what the world and our school-education expects, is hard sometimes. Again, this is not unique to missionary life though. Others choose it through being mothers rather than following career, or following career rather than being mothers.
Another thing I think is difficult is forming strategy in the work, and then through self-movitivation and belief and hard work and God's power, seeing that stratagy through, when you don't always see results, and haven't got a load of other people to help you. Again, others do it, in hospitals and businesses across the world,. And in Christian organsiations we can still have managers, and those strategists, skilled in this, as well as the rest of us, carrying out those visions. But sometimes it seems, maybe becuase there are not enough people here yet, working as mission labourers, people are stretched into areas that are outside their regular capacity. Emotionally too, loving people in need is stretching, exhausting, and the disappointments involved when people fall out of church community or whatever are really tough. This isn't a protected life!

And now back to where we started. Those that are 'all out'. Paul. Paul in the Bible speaks of putting up with floggings, going without food and sleep.
'Because of my chains, most of my brothers in the Lord have been encouraged to speak the word of God more courageously and fearlessly.' Phillippians 1.14
'I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.' Phillippians 4.12
'I want to know Christ and the power of sharing in his ressurection and the fellowhip of his sufferings' Phillippians 4.10
'Now I rejoice in what was suffered for you, and I fill up in my flesh what is still lacking in regard to Christ's afflications, for the sake of his body, which is the church. I have become it's servant by the commission God gave me to present to you the word of God in its fullness ....so that we may present everyone perfect in Christ. To this end I labour, struggling with all his energy, which so powerfully works in me.' Colossians 1.24-9 (abridged)

And yes, that can be our lives (not mine at present, I should add, but possibly for some). But I am a strong beleiver that each Christian is called where they are called, and as long as each of us is living within our calling, life is good in ways it wouldn't be otherwise.

Now something else about cultural adaption. I also have picked up on an Eastern mindset, of 'we must show we are stretched, working hard, being faithful workers'. It includes lists, serious faces, serrious meetings, jumping up to do the next chore when one needs doing. We choose to not talk about our time off as much as our time at 'work'. We are like Paul when he says to the Philippi church, 'I want you to know how much we are struggling for you and for those at Laodicea'; Col 2.1.

In Britain, in my experience, we just don't do this. We talk in our small talk about things outside work often: holidays planned, hobbies and sports, the kids, the parents. As Christians (in my UK church at least), we think it good to be light-hearted in how we cook the church dinner, we try to include and empower others, having a laugh while doing it. We model: 'Do everything without complaining or arguing...to shine like stars.... but even if I am being poured out like a drink offering..I am glad and rejoice with you.' Phil 2.14-17, abridged.

Both Biblical, but different.

I am also adapting, without realising, and with realising. I also now put on my serious, concerned face when I talk about my work, my study, my condition; it is real, but it as yet feels 'learned'. Sometimes when I am on the phone to my mum I even catch myself doing it, almost trying to 'prove' how much I am working; and naturally that does not connect well with her really. She wants to hear about fun, about times with friends, that i am simply 'happy'. I also find I am thinking about things more when decisions and discussions are involved, not to jump in too fast, but consider my response more carefully. I find I am now critical of some aspects of British culture (like lax attitude to student summer jobs often, as an example).

Without quite realising it, I am becoming...hmmm... Japanese?

Going up?

2007-03-06T22:26:00.000+09:00

EXAMS BLUES OVER AND OUT

Good mood tonight.

First of all, I got to give a gift to Ichikawa Sensei, to say thanks for teaching me these past months. She really liked it. It was a film she will like (and already likes). Second, she told me I think that I can move to A class next semester. This will be brill. So we were both 'ureshii' (happy). Third, I got home after a lovely meander through the church where I saw Naomi and used the internet, to find a nice package waiting for me from Albania, with a gorgeous bag inside, that I will use loads I know, and a lovely little notebook and card and calender. Thank you!! And also a nice letter from America from another friend. A very apt word inside too. Also very exciting is that, tomorrow, we get to do presentations in class about our countries. So mine is of course on England.

Thank you if you've been praying; it's been going well, as of, well, today! Speaking to my parents last night was also wonderful, and probably released in me a whole lot of relief somehow.
----
LADY OF THE HOUSE

The other thing to say is that we've got a new lady of the house. As we've got a shared kitchen, and shared shower, and therefore shared living space, this is quite something. At first she was described by Otosan (our landlord/live-in-owner) as his "family member". Of course we beleived him, until she started hanging around most of the time, and started cooking tea and watching his new gigantic TV with him. This was discssed in whispers amongst ourselves in the kitchen, over the biscuit basket she had started daily topping up with treats for us all. Now, she has definately moved in, and there are no more (or few) whispers. We can safely say she is the lady of the house. She does all the cleaning after us; sometimes washing our dishes 2 minutes after we've cleared the food from them ... I've never seen the kitchen, nor our basin area, looking so clean! We even have a new little dog hanging from our toilet door handle, and false roses by the sink. She is jovial and nice (we call her 'o ne san', which means older sister, although half the time she forgets that's her, so I've discovered its best not to call her anything), and she speaks only japanese with a strong local accent, so we can barely understand her. But just lately her and me have made friends. I give her shoulder massages, (quite a rarity in Japan, to actually have physical contact with someone), and I say thank you for her cleaning, and she gives me huge smiles and treats. I think we are friends of some sort. I feel like I'm on the "inside track" in our house at the moment; in January I was even given the favour of being lent Otosan's own device for airing futons (although admittedbly, that was after I asked Otosan if I could use the cleaner for the basins when they'd got so grotty over Christmas, and he felt guilty I'm sure for leaving them for so long). So even in the house, life is fun.

Scores. (and no jokes about 'Scores on the door Miss Ford', from Bruce Forstyth) - it's got beyond that

2007-03-02T23:10:00.000+09:00

Hi! I got my test results back, and for most of them I did fine, well even, to look on it brightly.

Especially the listening, not sure how I managed that, as I am usually better at active learning skills (writing and talking) then passive ones (reading and listening): but when you struggle to write, due to a new script, it changes things a bit! Saying that, it might be a fluke, (probably; my mock listening test the day before was a complete flunk), or, hey, it could be due to me trying to listen to Japanese radio every day since I bought one with my Christmas money, and also this past term I decided to watch a Japanese film every Friday afternoon for listening and culture-learning practice. (Although I switched to English ones for a few weeks for a treat, and then forgot about the original reason and stopped watching them altogether as I had all these imaginary eyes on me, from Britain, saying 'what are you doing? we're all hard at work, 9-5 on Friday, and you're watching a film in the library and it's not yet 5!' yes reader, I haven't got a TV in my room, so I watch some in the univeristy library with earphones on: sad!! My film and book blog therefore needs some new entries.)

But I failed two of the six tests - kanji and vocab - which is the major news, so I feeling rather down in the dumps about it all. From top to bottom then...

Listening: 78%
Grammar: 77%
Reading: 68%
Speaking: 66%
--- PASS MARK *60% ---
Vocabulary: 54%
Kanji: 48%

My predictions of my scores (before I did the tests) were quite different, I had written them down so I could remember them, and they had been: Grammer 80%, Vocabulary 80% (as I got 81% in my christmas test so I thought I was OK!), Speaking 75%, Reading 60%, Listening 55%, Kanji 45%. Three of them I did better than I had expected, three worse! I guess I thought I was better at speaking and vocab than I am! In fact the only ones that have improved since my Christmas tests are listening and kanji; and I guess yes, I've been putting speical effort into those. But still, the effort in kanji has not produced much of an improvement really. Hmph.

My teacher had a chat with me today about the options. It was kinda serious; that got me feeling heavy inside. I could re-take those two tests in the next week, and move up to the Intermediate level if I pass. Or, next semester I could re-take the basic level (but in a higher class), to consolidate my learning and go over the same kanji. She wants me to do that, but doesn't mind.

Peter, my language supervisor with my organisation here (a kind fellow), says perhaps I could do this latter choice. He was also being kind, but says it's good to really get the grounding in place. I agree, he's likely right. But with the time available, and hearing that after you stop full-time language study it's hard to progress further, I almost want to race through, to get as much as possible covered that I can then revise in my own time after this time. But he asked, 'why learn more if I am not really learning it?' 'why put myself under that stress and have holes in my learning which I dont have time to patch up?'

I think it hurts that I might have to retake as my Swiss classmate is really quite good. She started from scratch (which I didn't by any means); although her mum is Japanese ethinically, her mum can't speak Japanese (blame the Russians, they took over her island off the north coast in the war). And she's done really well; she's had her head down, aiming high, but she can speak accurately and well, and her grasp of the vocabulary is, wow, amazing. She doesn't yet have friends to practice with, but when she does, I think her work will show.

So, that's my news :-) I find it hard to imagine that someday I might be able to lead a discussion group with people aged 20-40, in Japanese. Now I wonder if it will actually be possible to be truthful. It's the first time I've wondered that. But that has been my aim, a discussion group of people wanting to investigate the story of Jesus, in a place like a trendy cafe, or a flat (like Yuki's one is what I picture) by the beach. I enjoy that and see that that kind of 'thing' will be useful for the work here. My other dream is just to be able to visit Japanese ladies in their homes here, and chat normally, and be helpful to them. I pray God gives me patience (always) and some miracle of understanding, not to pass exams, but to get real with people and be able to speak thier language about things that matter.

Phuf, it's too late!

2007-02-25T23:28:00.000+09:00

I have a collection of thoughts, and it'd probably be best to wait til next week when exams are over and I have time to process them and think and write well, but I kind of have been waiting too long to have good internet access so I am being impatient and grabbing my chance tonight, before I sleep shortly!

So...COLLECTION OF HAPPENINGS AND RANDOM THOUGHTS...

the highlight today: meeting a nice south african girl. she lives on the corner just next to the footbridge near my house. i have seen it is a foreigners house, so today i said hello, after being asked by god to do that before but courage failing me, but after promising him, 'next time', last time! She was stood with the door open, stuffing her washing into the washing machine (no room for them in people's homes here, so many machines, like hers, sit outside.) i liked her; they always have cool music playing; its a bit like a travellers den. Reggae style, although different kinds of music. She also has a Japanese housemate.

My classsmates have been having problems, some with me, some unrelated. Heating issue with one, whose friendship I have enjoyed, so its been difficult to be honest. The verse 'try and live at peace with everyone as much as it is depends on you' is ringing in my head, and I am realsing how relevant these issues are when you are living in/out with other people. Its not just for our benefit either, but for His glorification. For Christians that don't experience these issues, it annoys me. It means some of us are putting in lots of investment and time with others, (and no-one's lives are going to be perfect, so that will bring problems I think), and some aren't. Another friend has real things going on. I mean, like things you normally only read about in strange ladies magazines, when you're sat in the doctors surgery. I feel like my head and life could be a total mess if I was really in her life, in her place, or hearing all the stories first hand. I'm pleased I'm not in that sense, (relief), and yet i feel sad she hasn't told me herself; I hear it all from another friend at a chinese restaurant. hmmpp. There is possiblity for Jesus to help her, indeed racidically, with very radical consequences. Yeh, I've never come across these issues before, but she has never met with Jesus before either. I remember a testimony a lady (Katie, before she was Lean!) shared in my church in Oxford once, about praying for a colleague at work who was really helped, and that makes me wonder. I also remember Jesus talking about different kinds of sickness though, ('this one only comes out through prayer'), so I guess I need to spend time seekig him first before i approach my friend with anything solid. It's an incredible opportunity, if I trust him and pray enough.

And i have been doing some things wrong. not everything - some things i am pretty well adjusted to about working and 'being' with asians, in Japan - but i make regular mistakes, probably daily. Sometimes I know, and can be lazy to make the effort to be 'right'. Like yesterday for example, i ate some lunch while walking down the street, but i knew that in japan, people dont really do that. It looks odd. But other times i just have no idea that something isn't right! Like I heard my friend was annoyed at how I did my kanji test. And because of that, i am feeling a bit out of place sometimes, even with taiwanese foreigners who are also foreign here. I am grateful to those people (like Elaine who I saw last weekend after my testimony) who offer me kind advice. We (new ones) need that, it's really good. At the same time, even when each person just makes one small comment, when there are quite a few people making small comments, it feels a bit bigger, like I am constantly disappointing people in some way and that they are struggling over. It's not so nice. It needs to be balanced I think with formal encouragement and praise, with someone 'in charge' to say that, say in a review with Martin, and I haven't got that; at least not at the moment due to timing etc.

Along with this, I have been feeling a bit the pressure between law and grace as christian family... unspoken law seems to pend harder (or maybe just as hard) on me than the spoken ones, as I dont know if I'm pleasing people or not, and there is a certain level of judgement going on I feel. Need to think about this some more - our responsibility versus our freedom in Christ, as His followers, and then live with that more happily.

I have another blog forming in my head, 'What is hard about being a missionary?' as this is a phrase I keep hearing (actually my own answer is not what you might expect from the question), but that can wait til after the tests hey :-)

Early mornings

2007-02-25T23:00:00.000+09:00

from Friday Feb 16th, written but not posted then:

Well today (Feb 16th) has been a little strange. It started at 3.30am, with the sound of a text message arriving from a certain Simon Jackman from church back home. Lovely to get, to hear about him playing in the snow with his son! (I need to keep the phone on as i use the alarm clock, but maybe i'll think otherwise!) As a result I was, well, awake. Nothing more I could do. The room was cold, my mind was whirring. So i thought I could go to the daily church prayer meeting, 5am. So I went (first time), but there was no-one there. I stood outside in the cold for 20 minutes, then walked around and about to Macdonalds near my school, and I knew I was early as even that was shut (its shuts between 3am and 6am only). I stood in the entrance hall of a block of flats, after seeing that the doors opened automatically when a delivery-man went in, and I felt pretty miserable truth be told. I was alone; in a foreign country; I knew what it felt like to be an international student. (And I really feel for those studying in england now - i'm sure it's much the same for them in 'my' country). But at 6am I was in, breakfast in one hand (Ko-san from my language school gave me all these money-off coupons for meals before 10.30am, great!), and Japanese course books in the other hand, for 3 hours of study before school started at 9am. I recognised the man who served me. He liked me, I think. He wanted to speak in English, he wanted to smile at me. It felt good. I even got a free coffee, not sure that is allowed. So today I have studied for 6 hours (3 very early, 3 in afternoon). I have also had lessons for 3.5 hours. And tonight I played football for a few hours too. There was a new English guy there - Daniel. He wants to meet up; his girlfriend wants some english & female friends. I am the one. So I expect we shall, once exams are over (last 2 days in Feb, 1st day on March). So I've been awake since 3.30am, and it's been a good day. Productive. Most of what has gone on in my mind is not recorded, as like I say below, its a waiting game, I dont yet know the answers, but the questions are growing fainter. People in the Bible encourage me. God encourages me. Here (below) is what I wrote in my noteback, while sitting in MacD's today:

'I feel like I'm in a waiting game. Except it is hard - not like a game - not like the video game-play Alex Garland's 'The Beach'; or maybe, sometimes. The nice man in McDonalds was a pleasure to meet with today, at the counter. He smiled; I need smiles. He wanted to speak my language. He wanted to bless me. I got a free coffee for the price of a hash brown (plus a hash brown).

I think of Beth in Albania, and I'm grateful for her. I think of Lin here; she tries to smile, even though inside her life is a worry - future, acceptance into a career art university, parents disapproval. She encourages me to keep going.'

Going all out.

2007-02-13T19:30:00.000+09:00

Opposite my language school is a kyu-kyu en shop. This means that everything in it is the equivalent of 50p (or a couple of pence less). I try and shop in there as much as possible; in fact, it's got to the stage where, if anything is ever over 50p, I think it's too extravegent to buy it. Don't know why; it just happened. But In Sook encouraged me to eat more meat - she said that it will make me plumper. I think she's right - I don't need to get plumper, but I could do with more meat; otherwise meals of rice and vegetables leave me feeling a bit hungry. So today I plunged out, and bought two chops, and one mince packet. The mince I had tonight, and it made a HUGE difference. I now feel positively FULL, and satisfied with it!

What else has been happening? Well yesterday was a meeting open to all the members (and leaders and missionaries) of SFDD churches; like a mini Spring Harvest. It seemed quite good, although I couldn't understand the majority so it wasn't that life-giving. However, God enabled me to get all my work done around it. I have some catching up to do from last week when I missed a day, and two weeks ago when I missed two days (when I was ill), but today went well; I worked hard and the lesson was good too.

My friends are dropping low. They started off full of fun, out for a laugh. But now one is seriously worried about his future, and money to support his studies here; another is worried too about getting into a university course here. A few of us are just TIRED. Not just from overwork, but just from being. Here. I am one of them. Not that I don't wish to be here, not for one moment, but the loneliness at occasional times coupled with the strange language most of the time (even on the radio), and the friends who for the most part come from such different cultures, is wearing a little thin. I'm glad I'm not alone if feeling like this. Ko-san does too, and Evgenia said the same today. On the other hand, some are still running high; holidays to Thailand are being planned for the Easter break, new flats being sought and found. I will be here, (here in Kyoto, and here in the same house!), but will have the lovely visit of Toni in April, friend from Barnie (Barnstaple - hometown), yeh!

Saying that, I am having plenty of missionary contact lately. Edi (British) is being lovely. I like being with her family. On Saturday I joined their town for a community work morning in the woods. I stucks bits of mushroom fungus in holes we'd created in old treetrunks, (it'll sprout into mushrooms for soup in a few years!), I watched the kids making dens using green branches, and made a knife from a bit of wood. It was gloriously sunny and we had a fun trip getting there, involving a local farmer having to rescue our car from a slight collision with nature! (big dip on grass verge, known as a river, hee hee).

My parents go to Corfu today, followed by a couple of weeks visiting their siblings in the south-east, and then my brother and his wife, who are struggling through the last month before baby number 2 arrives!

So that's my life. How about yours?!

A credit

2007-02-08T16:29:00.000+09:00

I want to give a word of credit to God. Twice lately he's encouraged me to do things, and I've really seen results through obedience. He is able to open doors that none other could: it's like we might try to prize doors open with a screwdriver and sledge-hammer, but when it's time and Jesus is willing, no sledge-hammers are needed.

SFDD Pastors Meeting

2007-02-06T22:24:00.000+09:00

Today was a meeting for all the church pastors of the WEC-related churches (those churches strated by WEC-ers and now under Japanese peoples' leadership), and all us 'lot' from other countries here to help the work forward! People were allowed to vote for the committee of this church network (SFDD) for the next year, so we now have five people in place to lead the work forward. Despite being one of the more boring meetings I have been to in terms of 'pezazz' or body movement (in other words worship was pretty static; it could have been more looking to God for prophetic guidance in my inexperienced view), I actually came away the most refreshed of any. It was nice to see their faces, hear some of their stories (and they were pretty honest about struggles as well as encouragements I thought), see some of the ladies I like, enjoy the spring air coming through the windows after lunch. Yeh, I felt good.

I am currently preparing a testimony for Kinamoto church for 2 weeks time.

Well supported

2007-02-01T19:48:00.000+09:00

I was a bit ill with a virus of some sort, so have spent the last two days mostly at home. I felt, yesterday morning, like I was all alone, and wondered if anyone would care or help me. How I was wrong! In Sook and Seong-Jae came round with food and prayers and love, Simon prayed and rang me, Sally texted me, and classmates Ko, Man and Lin each phoned, emailed or texted me!

On a completely different note, do you ever find yourself wishing the whole world could know something, but it's not yet time? well i can see a small but wonderful firework about to happen, and I wish I could say more, but i can't as it's not my business. ah, friendship is great, but confidentiality is hard work!

I was made up.

2007-01-28T17:42:00.000+09:00

My two friends and I were served our dinners last night in Kyoto cafe 'SanGatsu' by the proud mum of Kazuhiro Tsuji who has done a bit of this and that. Despite her fingers being crossed for the Oscars next month, the sashimi was very nice!

Realising over time

2007-01-27T17:52:00.000+09:00

Another secret for you. I remember when I was six, on the eve of my seventh birthday (or it might have been on the birthday itself), - I remember being in my room, and I cried and cried by myself and to myself. Why? Because I realised that I'd never be six again, and I did like being six! Call me a thinker at that age!

And I had something similar happen to me two weeks ago. My sister had sent me a thank you card for my Christmas presents to her and her partner (very well brought up to send one!) and she ended the card by saying: 'By the time you receive this card you will be 29!' And for some reason, on re-reading that phrase, I just cried and cried.

I cried with sadness that I was now 29 - so old! no longer was I a young thing. And I cried with, I don't know what, as I remembered my same sister sending a card home for me from university, welcoming me to be 10, and then 11 (and even putting a notice in our local paper to congratulate me on being 'Legs 11'). And I remember when I turned 13 and she sent me a card saying 'Now you are a teenager!' And all through those years when she would have been younger than I am now, she bought me such wonderful Christmas and birthday presents (I remember a rucksack from Millets especially, and a Rubics Magic!), and sent me regular postcards from university in Plymouth. And I realised, not only how I had grown up, but how wonderful she was, and is, and how I'd never really spent that time with her to appreciate her and come out of my own world and let her know that. But I've also got a wonderful friend who encouraged me to say that to her. So I just did, last week, in a postcard. I delayed posting this blog post til she'd got it.

I don't know why I cried so much about that, but I have, and I did again when I wrote this.

Layers of Food, Fashion & Phonetics

2007-01-23T22:26:00.000+09:00

If there's one thing I haven't yet mastered in Japanese culture it's layers. Student female fashion involves coat over necklace over jumber over dress over trousers. Or shorts and long boots. Many layers of different lengths, quite an assortment that in England at least (or maybe when you're just over 25), you just wouldn't think of putting together. I tried it today, not sure if I did it right or not. Then when I pick food in the unviersity cafeteria, there's lots of little dishes on offer, and I'm never sure how many I'm supposed to take to fill my gap and make up a 'normal' meal, and in which combination. And half of those on offer aren't on display, so I am always envious of those who walk away with a scrummy looking dish which i would have gobbled up if I had known it existed. Ah well, the delights of living in a foreign culture! Joy Hendry wrote a great book which I read in Oxford, likening the many layers of kimonos to present wrapping in Japan, not missing the various layers of politness esqueued in the Japanese language, to enlarge on this same topic. Over New Year, when I was given my kanji name, Yuki was telling me how a foreign friend of hers was given kanji which meant 'crazy/wild bird'. Turned out it was the same woman.

All you need is love, doo doo doo dooo

2007-01-20T15:53:00.000+09:00

For about a year now I've been reflecting on and off on the nature of love. Being in loving relationships myself, it is pretty important; in fact very important. It's a struggle for me in some regards, to be faithful to those I care about. It's Jesus greatest commandment, and yet I feel we don't focus on it as much as other 'rules' of the Christian life. This is unbeleivable really, when you stop to think, and when you notice the love shared and given by some non-Christians. So a lot of my research has had to be private, outside of teaching my churches have offered, instead through questionnning Christian friends and reading the odd book.

This morning I came across an article on the internet, which I liked becuase it doesn't try to offer a quick answer but is more broad. I also like it as it's written by someone from a people-group in China that I have a passion for. (I'd love to see many Christian workers amongst them, and have excitment that many churches might and are being planted amoung them. They're a people I've been close to geographically - just seperated by the Tian Shan mountain range; I am thinking about praying for this region regularly.) Here's the article: http://www.rfa.org/english/uyghur/2006/05/23/uyghur_yasin/

The author, wisely I think, encourages each person to find their own defination. This nis different to most of what you read! So I took his advice and here are my conclusions, which I'm sure (and hope) will be improved on over the years, short-term and long-term:

1 Corinthians 13 has the only definition we can really go by with wholehearted endorsement I think - love is patient, kind, keeps no record of wrongs. It is expressed in actions and chosen atttitudes, not simply feelings.

It can be easily understood, or it can be pretty much inexplicable. i.e. Sometimes you can predict the kind of person you could love very easily; as my friend Beth once said to me, it's about 'preferences'. After a year of thinking about this, I think she's right; it is 'easy' to love certain people over others; some fit our 'bill' of 'sexy' or 'loveable' or 'sweet'. This especially works when it comes to both feelings and actions: perfect! But other times you can end up loving a person you wouldn't think you would, and being amazed that their differences to you are somewhat interesting and compelling. And that is allowed too! Some people end up married to those they would have predicted; others' choices are off the wall, and it might require a bit more effort to understand each other, but work well.

I have also concluded that love is more about what is in you/the person doing the loving: the love capability that is there, than about the recipient/the beloved/you. (their/our behaviour or 'deservedness'). Occasionally we don't get any feedback from someone we choose to love (I'm thinking of a Chinese lady living in England who i loved out of choice for a long time - playing badminton every week, visiting, with little love given back), but it completes and fulfills us to love anyway, and we can do it through the Spirit of God living in us if we follow Jesus (and now i am lucky that this friend emails me sometimes and has helped me in the past.)

I hate to say it, as being part of my generation I feel shy of committment: but the Bible talks about making committment, and God is a God of covenants all through his relationship with people... from Abraham to Hagar .... So somewhere in there is that. Always being there. About it being a foundation below and above the behaviour of the other person, an attitude that loves anyway.

I'd love to hear what others think of you have anything constructive to share. You can leave a comment.

I've also recently come a sitauion where a couple was dropped by a working-team as the relationship wasn't fulfilling original expectations. The teaching underlying this is that if love/friendship/working-relationship isn't working, or produces a bad reaction in you, then we should move on. Jesus also teaches his missionaries to shake the dust off their shoes in places where they're not welcome. Does this also mean where people are not interested in finding out more about God? I struggle with both of these things, although I do think each case should be examined on it's own and different conclusions can result. What do you think? is this reasonable?

2007-01-20T00:24:00.000+09:00

My main Japanese language teacher is desperate to find a man to be with, preferably very handsome. A lot of our class examples feature this topic - in a stupid amount in my view.(My other Japanese teacher simply loves Mick Jaeguer of the Rolling Stones, so she is satisfied in singleness.)

This article on the web was written a couple of years ago, but it struck a lot of resonance in me from meeting and talking to people here. So here, have an insider view of Japanese romantic culture today!

5 things you didn't know about me

2007-01-20T00:09:00.000+09:00

There's a quiz going round the blog-world, and I've been tagged. So here is my offering of:

Five things you didn't know about me:

1. I have a mole on my left leg, which my brother and sister used to call 'Doctor Bock'.

2. I am distantly related to Princess Diana, according to my uncle Patrick when he did our family tree.

3. I have a different uncle who lives in Cape Town.

4. I have a godson called Samuel, who lives in Bradworthy Post Office and Village Stores near the Devon/Cornwall border, and is in pre-school. It was one of the best feelings ever after I was asked to be his godmother. I was glowing for at least a month, and still count it a privelege.

5. I played tennis for Devon when I was 12. Also at that age I used to have nosebleeds every day; I remember even having to stop in the middle of tennis matches! I reached Wimbledon when I was 22 - as a security guard outside Court 1! Nevertheless I walked amongst the stars, went weak at the knees on seeing Tim Henman, and chatted to Venus and Serena Williams's dad, when he was too nervous to watch them play!

I realise that three of these are about how I relate to other people. Maybe I am secretly Indian or something, then again maybe simply female. This is now my turn to tag five people. But instead I simply tag anyone who read this and wants reveal your real self to this current world.

New Year

2007-01-13T12:38:00.000+09:00

Well language school has started again and it's back to seeing the same people on a daily basis (like all of us all over the world in our respective jobs, I know!) Today it's sunny and not too cold here, although colder than Britain from what I hear.

I finally passed a kanji test! I had to retake one that I didn't pass first time, and when you know the answers second time round it is so much easier! I have a few new year's resolutions - like to walk home from school (pushing my bike), so that I can spend that 30 minutes with God and praying for people I know here. I see the benefits of a disciplined life, from two of my co-workers here. And I also see that it crops up in the Bible - the apostle Paul praises churches for this.

I had a slight falling out with my 'team leaders' here, but I think that has now been resolved, although we could probably chat more about it if they were open to that. I thought they were (already) my team leaders, but I found out (a bit late!) that actually while I am on 'language study', I am part of their church but not actually part of the team. This wasn't the original issue we were discussing, but when this came up it suddenly seemed more dominant in my mind. So now I really want to concentrate on language as that is my main focus!

I had an enjoayble birthday last Monday. The night before, I invited most of my female friends out to dinner, and just two came, but it was a very jolly and fun time. My friend Mirabelle (from France) made me laugh a lot, and Yuki (from Kyoto) was very easy company. The day itself I met up with Mikiko and family for a day walking round the city and eating lunch out... I even enjoyed Dutch waffles for afternoon tea in a department store cafe! I must remember that one and go again!

A new name

2007-01-03T16:04:00.000+09:00

When foreigners go and live in Africa, often, if they are lucky, they are given a new name by the local tribal chief, or the villagers. That custom seems far from Japan's technological and economic reputation, but still, this new year I was given a new name - in kanji.

The characters themselves spell out Henrietta Louise Dudgeon, but the thing with kanji is that there are lots of characters with the same pronounciations, so the fun thing for parents is to pick the ones they like the meaning of, or the look of. And my friend's brother-in-law decided I needed to join this club! So now I have a name which in kanji means:

Henrietta (4 characters!), meaning:

Having many hometowns
Being fruitful

Louise (3 characters!), meaning:

Wild boar (this new year's animal)
A sky-blue colour

Dudgeon (3 characters!), meaning:

Making direction
Giving love through religion
Beauty and pureness

My friend's are just being kind, but still, I hope it's a prophecy for me!

Waking up to White Roofs

2006-12-29T08:45:00.000+09:00

It's snowing!

Off to Kobe today with Hong Yun, to visit Dawn, a British Japan Christian Link worker.

Ups and Downs

2006-12-28T18:53:00.000+09:00

We've had our WEC meet-up day today, which consisted of a bring-and-share meal, a time of lessons and carols around a candlelit table, reflecting on the peace that God can bring us even in stormy times, and also a time of testimonmies of how God has been working in our lives, and games! My favourite game from my childhood was included - wrapping someone in toilet roll so they look like a mummy! Unfortunately our team didn't win, but Bee Chou looked pretty funny!

It's also been a time of some soul-searching on some levels. Unfortunuately a good friend lost her 3-month expected-baby/foetus, and although it doesn't affect me personally, as a friend I am sad and feel for them and this loss. I also had some frustrations getting to the day today, as I didn't organise myself in time and so had to take a lenghty transport route by myself. But saying that, coming back was worse, in the car, as it's such a long way that I felt very travel sick. So trains work better for me! Lastly, I've been a bit disappointed recently that still, despite Jesus saying that now there are no national barriers between us, someone has refused to offer me counsel and oversight as I am not the same nationality. This makes me sad - that I am not seen worthy of or precious enough for this oversight; that other barriers are seeming greater than our brotherhood in Christ.

What is good? Well I've been offered some bedding which will really help me. I was also given speakers when I first arrived, by the same people, and this has been brilliant. I have Edi who wants willingly and lovingly to help me where she can and where appropriate. I had a good chat with Louisa today and over the Christmas break, and as she is soon leaving Japan that has been good. I have some precious friends back home, plus Martin tries to be the best leader he can here. I have been valuing my own sister (and brother) which is a really fantastic thing. I delight that my brother has a new house, and such a lovely wife. And they care and pray for me!

So lots of good, and some discouragement.

Happy Christmas!

2006-12-26T23:25:00.000+09:00

Christmas over! A British church-leaders' family here were very kind in having me over. We were ten: them, thier two children, plus another family they'd invited (Japanese wife, English husband, two kids), plus my friend Louisa who chose to have me over as 'her friend' for that special day.

My friend Chris from London-area was a star and sent me a CD of Christmas music she'd taken the time to put together. (She's off work at the moment so it's OK!) We had that playing over Christmas lunch and also at a christmas party at church the night before. BandAid20; absolutely can't beat it. Esp Lemar's rap in the middle bit! (unless you're over 35, and then of course you'll prefer the original 80s version).

So we saw the kids open some presents; we drank some wine and ate some nice things. Louisa and I went for a nice walk for quite a while in the afternoon. I even spoke to Mum, Dad and sister Soph in the evening.

Tokyo at night

2006-12-24T16:51:00.000+09:00

Tokyo at night is pretty amazing. Thousands of lights, or as they say here, 'illumination'. I went up Tokyo Tower (taller than the Eiffle Tower but modelled on it) with a group of Hosei University girls and they loved it!

I felt very at home in my friend Hanae's flat. Hosei University (where I've had summer jobs looking after their students in Oxford for the past two years) have offered me a job, giving occasional lectures on their Interntional Relations course. Depending on what exactly is offered, I might be able to do that. It would mean I could visit Hanae more often and see some of the other students and staff too. Cos if missionary work isnt meeting with people (if you're a church planter or student worker at least), it is going in a funny direction.

I had an intersting time meeting with someone I met on skype; she has the same name as one of my friends so we met by 'mistake' in September. However when we went to the temple for sightseeing, she went up and thanked the deity for this 'chance' meeting. She recently returned from 3 years in New York, and is struggling to find her place in Japanese society. She much prefers the company of internationally-minded folk now. Likeise my two christian friends who started following Jesus in Oxford find churches here cold and unwelcoming, which is sad as that is all we have. But God lives on in them and takes good care of them, with the help of thier families too, and some caring people who write to them from England.

My highlights:
*going to the key shop and post office for Hanae in her district; I just felt like i was a resident there, esp when I bumped into two people I'd met the night before in Hanae's favourite cafe, and I love that feeling!
*seeing another friend from Oxford, who told me she is pregnant!
*the love of the Hosei female students for me, and esp Kaori, who is soft and vulnerable underneath her tough exterior and fashion exuberance. I just had a lovely email from her, sharing with me her dreams for the future! also when Hikari said 'i love you' when she said goodbye, that was lovely of her. I enjoyed seeing where she works.
*seeing Mayuka, another Hosei student, and getting to know Akiko, one of the staff. both really special and fun times.
* seeing Tokyo from Tokyo tower, which was quite a spiritual experince. Thought of my mum, dad and niece from the top, and also prayed for the as-yet-unborn babies of Sian and Mark, Sally and John, and Jo and Chuka. that felt special. it is an amazinf experience.* another spritual epxerience, quite breathtaking, was seeing Mount Fuji. rising up above, topped with a hat of snow.

Weird:
* being on the subway at 11.30pm/midnight, and it being packed like rush hour with businessmen returning home.
* it feeling 'normal' to be there, walking about, like I was in London.
* annoying that the station staff can speak very limited english.
* attending a Japanese party, but rather than people standing up and mingling with glasses in their hands, we were all sat down on the floor around a table with a hotpot on it! apparently thats what japanese people prefer.
* amazing bus up there, more like an aeroplane for service. blanket and slippers provided, only three seats per row of the bus with spaces inbetween and loads of leg room. Bus back not quite the same standard!

Church party tonight. Yuki had to withdraw, but Yo Shure and Choo from the house are hopefully coming. Lots of love and Merry Christmas!

Tokyo days

2006-12-22T08:23:00.000+09:00

wrote this earlier in week but didnt realise it hadnt published! so here it is:

I'm currently staying in london with my friend Chris. Well actually that's not true: I am actually staying in Tokyo with my friend Hanae, but I FEEL like I'm in London again in Chris's house. I think because Tokyo is big, has subways, has people! I have been overwhelmed a couple of times. And because I am enjoying getting to know the new neighbourhood of an old friend.

It is LOVELY staying with Hanae. As I told her over breakfast this morning, she's about the first person not to complement me on how good my Japanese now is ... and thats a big compliment!! She doesn't want to just flatter me (when its not that true either). But despite never having spoke Japanese together, she sometimes just goes into it, without seeming to batter an eyelid.　She also lets me get on with my own thing while shes at work, and at night we sleep in her room side by side and its good.

One night I made a funny mistake. I thought I was meeting one friend, actually it was a different friend (with the same name) that walked through the subway gates. At first I thought it was co-incidence, that she just happened to be there too. Then I realised that I had obviously been emailing a different person, and had to quickly compose myself and get into a different mind set to adjust to my unexpected company! but anyway,I managed (I think) to hide my surprise, and we had a nice evening.

On the bus up I saw Mount Fuji. It was quite breaktaking to me. I am meeting up with the KGK office today (linked with IFES, where I worked in Oxford), and then with some Hosei students in the evening. The afternoon I will need to cart a suitcase of books I brought here last year from their storage place, to a locker in Tokyo station, ready for my return tomorrow night.

Two deep

2006-12-15T18:26:00.000+09:00

Blimin' heck, I'm weary. It was the last day of classes today, except we didn't have class; instead we went to a lady's house where we dressed in kimono and learned a Japanese dance. It was very enjoyable. Photos will be posted on my photo link(see right panel) asap!

There's been a girl on my course who I've wanted to get to know the whole term. But it never happened; I was shy, she wasn't so forthcoming, she made another friend, and I made other friends. But we had a great chat walking back from the place (in fact I had a great chat both ways; I'll mention the other one in a minute).She is lovely, straightforward, quiet reserved and serious, but has lived in a few countries because of having parents of different nationalities; I think she has had a hard life at times. She has puzzled me on some occasions, as she is quite a tough cookie. I found out she is good at Thai fighting. It was a real surprise. I heard though that she'd taken it up to get over a trauma from when she was younger. I was impressed with her manner, her honesty, and yet carefulness in how she said things. I know she doesn't like sympathy, because I offered that once before on something and it wasn't so much appreciated. So I didn't offer any as such, but tried to connect in other ways. We also exchanged news of our brothers and sisters. She didn't know I was going to be in Japan for longer than the the average year. I told her I was wanting to listen to God for my life, for what he has for me; it felt right to say that, then.

My other chat was with another classmate, from Asia, as we walked to the kimono house. Often in class my Asian friend refers to the big TV she wants in the future, or the food she would like to eat. I thought she was only joking. but today we chatted and she said she wanted to tell me a Chinese story. It was about a man who was so in love with his beautiful, slender wife that he bought her so much food every day, as gifts. She then became very lazy, and in the end made a giant doughnut for herself which covered her face, so all she needed to do all day and night was lie on her bed, sleep, and then nibble from the doughnut with her mouth when she was awake. But one day her husband returned to find her dead. She had been too lazy to turn the doughnut around, and her mouth was out of reach of the unnibbled parts. She had died of starvation! Lyn asked me what I thought it meant. Afterward, I wondered if I should share a Bible parable with her. She said she liked scary stories, or romantic 'what happens after princess meets prince' ones. As I was thinking about it, she asked me which of the big houses we were walking past I wanted to live in. I said I wasn't bothered by big houses. She couldn't understand it. She said she'd be content to die having just watched loads of films in a big house. I told her if all we want is big houses, and watching films inside them, we don't look beyond the four walls and see the wider world and be involved in it. She asked me what that else could be involved in life, and I replied: following God's will, and serving and helping people. This was alien to her. She laughed every time I mentioned God or Jesus. It made me feel sad inside, as she's a good friend. It made me see there's a long way to go. But now I know she likes stories that have messages.

I feel that people don't know about the church, and what God can do to transform lives. I wish they did. I guess each Christian is a part of this representation though; what we show is who we are. It's fun having God with us; it's also a serious and meaningful thing, to have him in our lives and our very souls, transforming us from people of nature to people of another realm. It's amazing. And we're all in this together (ie we all have hurts to be set free from, lessons to learn). I want church to be a place of honesty, for where the spirit of the Lord is , there is freedom.

Some mothers do 'av 'em

2006-12-15T01:36:00.000+09:00

Blimin' heck. This blogger has a lot of readers that leave a lot of comments: http://www.superherodesigns.com/journal/archives/000699.html

This entry (link above) was interesting to me for people's comments of what makes them scared in life, so it's worth clicking to see them. People are 'real' here.

But when I tapped on her home page from it, I saw her most recent entry had over 300 comments left!!

2006-12-14T23:46:00.000+09:00

A few names and a few games

Just returned from big swanky party, curtesy of very amazing invite, and I feel like name dropping, so I'll get it over with quickly before writing some proper stuff.

The name is RICHARD BRANSON.

Well i didn't meet him, it must be said, but I was asked how he was doing tonight, by someone that has had dinner with him twice, and who owns the shopping mall in Kyoto where the Virgin store is located (hence the dinners). Of course being English, and therefore sharing Richard's nationality (and indeed his city for the past four years), I felt able to speak for him, and could vouch that he was 'doing alright'. Phew!

It was my friend Yuki's dad's gym's New Years Party (they don't do Christmas parties here, just New year), and lucky for me his gym is in one of the nicest hotels in Kyoto, and even better, I was invited. We dined in style, and enjoyed American-influenced entertainment of a cheer-leading dance show style, by the gym's fitness intsructors during pudding. Very enjoyable. I even took a video with my camera which i'll put on YouTube on Saturday if I can!

Yuki actually deserves a bigger name drop than 'Richard'. She might not be famous outside of the world of compartive studies of Scandanvian, Japanese and American care systems, and feminism conferences in Tokyo and Osaka.. .... and maybe some certain drinking establishments in Kyoto and Oxford and Stockholm... but that's pretty cool to me and I'm very proud of her. I have only featured in the latter one so its all good :-) Plus her and her family are very kind to me which always is a winner!

Now...

I did well in my tests: Grammer 89%; Reading 82%; Vocabulary 81%, Listening 64%; and Kanji, urgh, 43%. I therefore failed the last one. After christmas we have another test of 300 kanji (the little chinese characters).

My plans for 'fuyui yasumi' (christmas hols from my language school, although not from homework, got tonnes of it!) are holding up remarkably well. Simon and I are praying about whether he could visit me in January for a week or so. It depends on a cheque coming through. But before then, I have a bus ticket booked to Tokyo for Monday, leaving here 10am and arriving there 6pm (a long ride, but cheaper than the train and i'd like to enjoy the scenery en route). Hanae, an old friend, has offered to host me in her room, plus I have lots of dinner arrangements with loads of students I worked with the last two summers, plus some other special individual friends from Oxford days (Japanese friends).

I am off to Shiga ken for christmas day (Yuki has asked to come to our church christmas party on chrstmas eve too, fantastic, and surprising; trying to think whether to invite Rika and/or/neither Mirabelle to join us). Hopefully I'll enjoy a few days away with Hong Yun, a Korean Christian worker here, after that, before New Year. School starts back on 9 January. My birthday has landed on a national holiday here (8 Jan). It is also the day when all the 20 year-olds in Japan celebrate their 'turning of age' by getting together with all their high school friends for parties! therefore all the restaurants will be very busy. my birthday is party day this year!!

God is doing good work in me at the moment. I am being really blessed by now attending a church prayer time on wednesday nights, with Chang Kyu and In Sook. Our Sunday sermons are on being in touch with the Holy Spirit, and this last sunday was on 'silent prayer' (Forrester book esp). God spoke to me, and He is being just great. I am looking forward to walking with him over the next few months, and I am not there yet, but want him to be my very best friend.

Tonight, before I got to the hotel, a lady in a drink shop shoo-ed me off her pavement outside like I was a stray dog. I was sheltering there from the rain, with my bike, unsure which way to go, trying to study my map. If I hadn't been made aware of God's view of me it would have upset me. As it was, I wished she wouldn't have that attitude, however I still felt joyful inside. I am grateful for people like Debi Bartlotti (yeh, I had an email from her today!) and Naomi Gray who have helped to show me that God views us as special and that being 'in him' in this way affects our whole attitude. Long may it grow.

2006-12-08T19:36:00.000+09:00

The List of 4s

An idea nicked from a friend or two.
four jobs i have had in my life:
1. IFES Development Officer
2. WHSmith customer assistant
3. Wimbledon Lawn Tennis Chamionships Security Guard
4. University receptionist

four movies i would watch over and over:
1. Hideous Kinky
2. Lost in Translation
3. Save the Last Dance
4. any about horse racing

four places i have lived:
1. Devon
2. Uganda
3. Swansea
4. Cardiff

four tv shows i love to watch:
1. Question Time (get me!)
2. Neighbours (I know, embarrassing)
3. Eastenders (I know, depressing)
4. My Family

four places i have been on vacation:
1. Kyrgyzstan
2. Italy
3. the Netherlands
4. Suffolk!

four of my favorite foods:
1. Prawn Cocktail flavour Walkers crisps
2. Biscuit Boost (boost boost, biscuit boost!)
3. Macoroni cheese
4. Mum's walnut icing cake

four places i would like to be right now:
1. hanging out with Yuki in some traditional Japanese restaurant in Schijo (down the road)
2. at a dinner party with Tom and Elaine, Sophie, Tim and Simon
3. at home with Mum and Dad, in the sitting room, with TV on and ginger tea and choccie biccie in my hands
4. in the Sahara, at night, under the stars, standing apart from the camp and the camels, as I did this once, and it was awesome

four books i'd read again:
1. Out of the Saltshaker and Into the World
2. The Naughtiest Girl in the School
3. Dicey's Song
4. Kings, in The Bible (love it! unusual i know)

four songs i listen to over and over:
1. Baby Can I Hold You (Tracey Chapman)
2. Hallelujah, Your Love Makes Me Sing!
3. Talking 'Bout a Revolution (Tracey Chapman)
4. Come, Now is the Time to Worship

four things i do (sometimes) which i shouldn't:
1. plan the seating plan for my wedding reception (never mind that i'm not nearly there yet!)
2. stay in bed in the morning for too long, esp when its cold!
3. allow myself to feel miserable or complain - which is a sin
4. feel like i bear the responsibility of a decision- which is wrong as God does if I let him

four things that motivate me:
1. praise and encouragement
2. Len Bartlotti
3. the great commission, to fulfill 'all peoples' on earth being part of the multicoloured singing congregation before God (as I picture it!!) forever
4. having things to do

four places i'd like to go:
1. Shanghai, overlooking the river
2. Chile, overlooking the lake with the mountains around
3. Fez in Morocco, an ancient stone city
4. a self-designed route of the trans-Siberian highway, including Uzbekistan and Nepal

four things i hate:
1. bad and slow customer service
2. being made to feel unimportant, (when God deems me important)
3. when people are over-Christian, and can't take compliments without referring to God's complete responsibility for the event, or who narrow down what is 'christian' enough to talk about in certain settings
4. feeling confused between choices in a decision

four random things i love:
1. autumn leaves
2. wrapping up christmas presents, knelt on the floor of my room
3. buying flights over the internet; such a buzz!
4. walking through the woods, chatting with a female friend I haven't seen for a while

tag. you're it. comment when you've blogged your own fours!

2006-12-03T00:05:00.000+09:00

Today: J-League Football Game, followed by Macdonalds

Today I had a brilliant day; one of my happiest here :-)

I met with Rika at 1pm. she's the one i met two weeks ago in a cafe. I thought I was going to be late as I only left my house at 12.30, due to our continual washing machine problem (one between 16 people, in the same room as the only shower in the house :) But I managed to cycle to the PO to get money, then to the train station, then tie up my bike sufficiently far away so not to be in the police 'no bike' zone, then catch the tube to Shijo, then walk to our arranged meeting point, and find her, in time! She was there with her little daughter so it felt like I was back with Mikiko again last year, when I visited and stayed with her and her young son for my first 5 days, getting admiring glances from people on the train, and carrying pushchaires up flights of stairs.

We got to the stadium fine, with only a few tears from little one. It was such great fun. 9000 people there. Rika had been given free tickets from her friend, who we met there who was with her little boy and her brother (although her husband was sitting in the stand opposite, as he was a full-member! which I thought seemed a bit mean of him, although i didn't even meet him! he goes every saturday.) And it was Kyoto Purple Sanga (the city team here) versus Nagoya Grampus Eight (the city team in Nagoya, another city not too far away). It was the last game of the season, and the crowd gave it good. There was banner waving, with one stand that was continually jumping up and down and singing to the beat of a big drum (quite nice songs actually; I found myself singing along), and the rest of us were more sedately sitting on our benches on our platforms but clapping occasionally, to join in and keep warm. Brilliant fun.. have I said that already?! We lost though, and next season the team will be relegated. But hopefully I can still go and watch anyway as the lady who has access to these free tickets hinted as much ;) The manager got seriously booed when he tried to come on the pitch to make his final sppech. Hope the poor man doesn't suffer from any problems over that - I know that can happen in Japan: suicides from that kind of shame.

After that Rika and daughter and I went back into the city, and Rika phoned the duaghter's father and invited him to join us for coffee. This was one of thier monthly or twice-monthly meet-ups, as they are no longer a couple. We had a great time, chatting, and I really enjoyed it. Rika's father was a famous comedian here in Japan, and she talked me through an article in last week's main national newspaper, (Asahi shinbun), in which she and three famous people (two TV actors and a writer) reflected on his life, 7 years on from his death.

Next I went to MacDoanlds to meet with Masako, who I met in there about 1.5 months ago. I stayed from 7.30-10.30pm; we had a great time chatting; I managed to translate a whole letter that she had received from a lady she knows from Australia, which I enjoyed. She is so patient; a perfect conversation partner. and I gave her an advent calender, as my mum sent me one but in fact there were two in the packaging ... Traidcraft making mistakes lucky for me!

I might not see Masako again til after Christmas, as her studies finish next week, and so she'll no longer be going to study there on Sat evenings, as has been her routine up til now. So after Chrsitmas I will also have to change my routine, as the only reason I go there is to see her. However I do now like it; it's much nicer than the British ones - it's like my little warm haven and I can sit and study there for ages, with cool blues or chilled music on and orange lighting. She won't be doing anything for Christmas day - no presents even. She said 'Well we're not christians'; also Christmas day is a working day this year. However I was pleased to hear that her divorced husband will be coming round, as they share a son (a bit like the other couple I was with earlier in some ways).

I also had a great time with God once I got back. I walked and talked and was assured by him of the pleasure of following him. It really was an adventure. He also spoke to me about following close behind him - following him. Sometimes it will be like we (Christians) are an elastic band, being stretched back, but then we need to hurry to catch up with him again. Even it it means looking a bit foolish, running along with others seeing. He also said to me that sometimes he leads us on side routes, that are parellel to the main road, and as it was at the time when I was wondering about these friendships I'm making, I thought that it means that these friendships that I'm forming are my work for now, for this year and next etc, but that they wouldn't be my main ministry forever - that some point he will lead me to the mian road where I am to walk with equal pleasure in Him, even admist the busyness and maybe even the 'urban-ness'.

I also saw some kanji, which I knew I'd learnt, hanging up outisde a shop, and also one by a house. So it has encouraged me to dig into it afresh, as I will find a use for it, even though today I couldn't remember any of the meanings!

Bless you, readers. I appericiate you taking the time to read about my life, and your support is great.

2006-12-02T00:04:00.000+09:00

My schedule - wanting to be disclosed!

I now have a busy life here. So thought I would share it with you, dear readers, but now can't upload the table I created in Word to do this.if i try and copy and paste it loses its nice (and essential) formatting. Shame! anyone got any bright ideas?

Anyway... today I had a very socialable and enjoyable day. After class... actually let's start with class first... I got 85% in the test I sat yesterday! They are very quick to mark things here! I was pleased with my mark; I had wanted around 90, but no more, in case I was shunted up to the next class, away from the people I'm getting to know in my current one! so 85 is a reasonably good mark :-)

Every Friday I have lunch with four girls; it's always something I now look forward to. We eat Chinese, as there's a great, large, quite cheap, Chinese restaurant near our school, plus they're all from China or Taiwan so appreiciate the food! after that, today we extended it with a trip to buy doughnuts (at which point i said my brothers nickname for my sister had been 'doughnut' as a child, which they found very strange.. and funny..), and my friend Lin bought a custard one (at which point I chirped up again - that I'd had a cat in Uganda called 'Custard') - at which point they were very eager to know what my nickname might have been! I agreed to 'Cream', seeing as I'd bought a cream doughnut, as I wasn't going to disclose any more!!

And after that I went back to the toshokan.. that is the library... and watched a Japanese film - very funny - that one of the girls had recommended in class the other day. Called Water Boys. Seeing as our library has free DVDs to watch on thier TVs their, wearing earphones, I'd like to watch one a week, to hear Japanese and get some familiarity with Japanese popular culture, as it is a little... actually a LOT ... different to Britain!

And then this evening I played football... in the cold.... and then after that Mirabelle and I went for something to eat, as she wanted something, and we had such a lovely chat and laughed so much, comparing stories from our language schools, and experiences of Japanese, French and English life! she lives with her auntie and cousins, as she's half-Japanese (but from Paris). We've arranged another get-together for Thursday night.

Ok, gonna go now.. I spend time on the computer as it's my way to 'feel connected', and be entertained, but finally there is a time for bed too, and I think 1am should do it for tonight!

Oh yes, very excited, as Hanae has invited me to stay with her in Tokyo over Christmas. I won't accept that, as need and want to be here then, but maybe before if that is also OK with her. she is also very excited - we haven't seen each other since she left Oxford about a year and a half ago. it will be LOVELY to see her... one of my little dreams for being here really...

2006-11-29T19:52:00.000+09:00

Group bonding - how it's done in the East

I think me and my contempories here have now got to the stage where we've ceased to be polite, and if things nark us, we just want to say - and some do.

There are a number of differences in culture between the east and what we are used to in the west. One of those crops up in our class - when we (and my class is predominantly eastern) are asked a question, a chorus of loud voices answer back, and go on answering back, repeating the same word or phrase over and over again, until stopped by the next question. That deeply irriates one of my classmates (non-eastern). Another little 'way' of our class is to answer questions asked to someone else. So if the teacher asks me a question, (in Japanese of course), someone else calls out the answer before I've had time to form my thoughts and speak them. Again, for some (including myself when it happens to me), this is deeply annoying. And it's a wonder the teacher doesn't say anything! But then today she did! When someone (a western girl) was struggling, and we daren't answer for her as we (or at least some of us) know it annoys her, the teacher pipes up: 'Come on E class, group effort!' So actually this group effort is encouarged here - part of the group culture - doing things together with others, rather than alone.

Another instance was stated to me recently - someone commented that it was hard to do group outings with Westerners as we didn't know how to work in groups. We would go off and do our own thing, rather than going with the team, if it suited us. I think they were right - even on our 'ensokou' to Universal Studios, I was tempted to quit my group, who were stuck in a long queue for a very short ride that I wasn't even keen to go on, and do my own thing. But I didn't, as I knew that would seem very anti-social (all my group were Taiwanese/Chinese).

Yesterday we had another small trip, just walking from our school. Rather than choose our own groups, we were put in groups of four by random selection (not quite numbers in a hat - instead numbers on chopsticks - I'm serious!), and there was even a random way of group leaders being selected, who were then appointed to gather their team around them. This actually saved time and it was quite comforting to know who was 'in charge'. (Although that was abandoned on the outing itself as a more natural leader shone forth. [not me] )

I thought when I first arrived that suddenly my two months of 'training' at WEC seemed rather stupid - afterall, many of the other students were here with little if any notice, and no training. Although I am not saying I am 'better' than others from my training, I do now notice the worth of that teaching - it has taught me to respect other cultures; even to recognise the differences between cultures and personalities, and I am trying not to speak too quickly!

So I think there are things we can learn from the group culture of East Asia. After all, Japanese industry thrives, becuase they know how to devote themselves to thier companies. Maybe if we did that more in churches they would thrive more as well!

2006-11-24T22:58:00.000+09:00

Relationship is life.

It's so nice to have some friends. It's transformed my life I would say, for the better. No man is to be an island and all that... (even if About a Boy claims he is Ibiza, my life alone is more like Hokkaido: cold and a bit bleak :-)

There's three girls from my course and we're now a little group of four, on Fridays, when we have what has developed into our weekly lunch together, and others sometimes join us too. Last Saturday we went sightseeing together too, and we tried to this afternoon today after our lunch, but it didn't work out as the buses were too crammed.

I've also now got a little selection of Japanese friends, so I feel just within two months I've reached my quota of friends, but I'll see how God develops things as he might have other plans of course. The lady I met in the cafe last Sunday has invited me to a J-League football game next Saturday, whatever that is, so I've told her I can come! and Yuki, mthe other girl I met, has also emailed so that will hopefully be another regular thing.

One of the girls in my class said something very surprising to me today. We were doing an example in japanese (we were in a pair, working together), and there was a picture of someone crying and we had to guess (in Japanese) why that person was crying. She said, 'Yes, I've never understood why people cry.' It astonished, no ASTOUNDED, me to hear that. I'm sure she's not had a smooth background either; her family it would seem may have been through some heartache. So to hear such a view! I remembered that even Jesus wept, on Lazurus' death, so it's not a bad thing to cry. Maybe she's seen so much change in her life (which she has) that pain can no longer touch her. Or maybe she thought crying is pointless, not achieving anything. But even that is not true, as life is not about tasks only, but about relationship, with others and also with ourselves as we figure out where we stand with people and how we fit into the world. Those times can bring heartache; they are not 'useless' times, as I believe through going through such emotions we can grow and move on even. That has been the case for me at least. Life without tears might be happier, but this is not the life we are living in yet, and tears can be an exression of that tension.

I recently discovered a great blog site by a lady called Mary in America, and she has written about the tension as Christians that we have between joy in the Lord and sadness at the hurting world around us (and sometimes in us too, if we're truthful). I agreed with what she wrote. See Novermber 22nd entry: http://missmaryb.blogspot.com/

2006-11-20T21:25:00.000+09:00

Flowers Can Bring Delight, but Shouldn't be Our First Delight

I attended my first Ikebana class this evening. My flower creation wasn't that good, but I enjoyed trying to fit them together. I must say, coming from England, trimming off the leaves and stalks wasn't easy in my Western-flower-arranging-conscience; it seemed such as shame to lose all the nice 'foliage'! But then the Japanese way is minimalist, and I must say there is is also a beauty in that - when it's done right! Sometimes I caught a glimpse of that; suddenly, as a branch lent a certain way, there was a breathtaking beauty about it.

I have discovered a beautiful verse in the Bible this evening, in Psalms, 37.

'Trust in the Lord and do good;

dwell in the land and enjoy safe

pasture.

Delight yourself in the Lord

and he will give you the desires of

your heart.

...

Be still before the Lord and wait

patiently for him;

do not fret when men succeed in

thier ways,

when they carry out their wicked

schemes.'

It has encouraged me to be happy with a quiet life, as God honours that and brings forth pleasure to those whose first love is Him. This is what he is teaching me right now; even someone in Oxford had this word confirmed to them for me, which is just right.