Group bonding - how it's done in the East

I think me and my contempories here have now got to the stage where we've ceased to be polite, and if things nark us, we just want to say - and some do.

There are a number of differences in culture between the east and what we are used to in the west. One of those crops up in our class - when we (and my class is predominantly eastern) are asked a question, a chorus of loud voices answer back, and go on answering back, repeating the same word or phrase over and over again, until stopped by the next question. That deeply irriates one of my classmates (non-eastern). Another little 'way' of our class is to answer questions asked to someone else. So if the teacher asks me a question, (in Japanese of course), someone else calls out the answer before I've had time to form my thoughts and speak them. Again, for some (including myself when it happens to me), this is deeply annoying. And it's a wonder the teacher doesn't say anything! But then today she did! When someone (a western girl) was struggling, and we daren't answer for her as we (or at least some of us) know it annoys her, the teacher pipes up: 'Come on E class, group effort!' So actually this group effort is encouarged here - part of the group culture - doing things together with others, rather than alone.

Another instance was stated to me recently - someone commented that it was hard to do group outings with Westerners as we didn't know how to work in groups. We would go off and do our own thing, rather than going with the team, if it suited us. I think they were right - even on our 'ensokou' to Universal Studios, I was tempted to quit my group, who were stuck in a long queue for a very short ride that I wasn't even keen to go on, and do my own thing. But I didn't, as I knew that would seem very anti-social (all my group were Taiwanese/Chinese).

Yesterday we had another small trip, just walking from our school. Rather than choose our own groups, we were put in groups of four by random selection (not quite numbers in a hat - instead numbers on chopsticks - I'm serious!), and there was even a random way of group leaders being selected, who were then appointed to gather their team around them. This actually saved time and it was quite comforting to know who was 'in charge'. (Although that was abandoned on the outing itself as a more natural leader shone forth. [not me] )

I thought when I first arrived that suddenly my two months of 'training' at WEC seemed rather stupid - afterall, many of the other students were here with little if any notice, and no training. Although I am not saying I am 'better' than others from my training, I do now notice the worth of that teaching - it has taught me to respect other cultures; even to recognise the differences between cultures and personalities, and I am trying not to speak too quickly!

So I think there are things we can learn from the group culture of East Asia. After all, Japanese industry thrives, becuase they know how to devote themselves to thier companies. Maybe if we did that more in churches they would thrive more as well!

Relationship is life.

It's so nice to have some friends. It's transformed my life I would say, for the better. No man is to be an island and all that... (even if About a Boy claims he is Ibiza, my life alone is more like Hokkaido: cold and a bit bleak :-)

There's three girls from my course and we're now a little group of four, on Fridays, when we have what has developed into our weekly lunch together, and others sometimes join us too. Last Saturday we went sightseeing together too, and we tried to this afternoon today after our lunch, but it didn't work out as the buses were too crammed.

I've also now got a little selection of Japanese friends, so I feel just within two months I've reached my quota of friends, but I'll see how God develops things as he might have other plans of course. The lady I met in the cafe last Sunday has invited me to a J-League football game next Saturday, whatever that is, so I've told her I can come! and Yuki, mthe other girl I met, has also emailed so that will hopefully be another regular thing.

One of the girls in my class said something very surprising to me today. We were doing an example in japanese (we were in a pair, working together), and there was a picture of someone crying and we had to guess (in Japanese) why that person was crying. She said, 'Yes, I've never understood why people cry.' It astonished, no ASTOUNDED, me to hear that. I'm sure she's not had a smooth background either; her family it would seem may have been through some heartache. So to hear such a view! I remembered that even Jesus wept, on Lazurus' death, so it's not a bad thing to cry. Maybe she's seen so much change in her life (which she has) that pain can no longer touch her. Or maybe she thought crying is pointless, not achieving anything. But even that is not true, as life is not about tasks only, but about relationship, with others and also with ourselves as we figure out where we stand with people and how we fit into the world. Those times can bring heartache; they are not 'useless' times, as I believe through going through such emotions we can grow and move on even. That has been the case for me at least. Life without tears might be happier, but this is not the life we are living in yet, and tears can be an exression of that tension.

I recently discovered a great blog site by a lady called Mary in America, and she has written about the tension as Christians that we have between joy in the Lord and sadness at the hurting world around us (and sometimes in us too, if we're truthful). I agreed with what she wrote. See Novermber 22nd entry: http://missmaryb.blogspot.com/

Flowers Can Bring Delight, but Shouldn't be Our First Delight

I attended my first Ikebana class this evening. My flower creation wasn't that good, but I enjoyed trying to fit them together. I must say, coming from England, trimming off the leaves and stalks wasn't easy in my Western-flower-arranging-conscience; it seemed such as shame to lose all the nice 'foliage'! But then the Japanese way is minimalist, and I must say there is is also a beauty in that - when it's done right! Sometimes I caught a glimpse of that; suddenly, as a branch lent a certain way, there was a breathtaking beauty about it.

I have discovered a beautiful verse in the Bible this evening, in Psalms, 37.

'Trust in the Lord and do good;

dwell in the land and enjoy safe

pasture.

Delight yourself in the Lord

and he will give you the desires of

your heart.

...

Be still before the Lord and wait

patiently for him;

do not fret when men succeed in

thier ways,

when they carry out their wicked

schemes.'

It has encouraged me to be happy with a quiet life, as God honours that and brings forth pleasure to those whose first love is Him. This is what he is teaching me right now; even someone in Oxford had this word confirmed to them for me, which is just right.

Finally meeting some Japanese people!

I just met a lovely couple in a cafe here. They have an interesting set-up. They got together three years ago, tried living together, but it didn't work out. So now they live apart, are not in a relationship I don't think, but have a one year old daughter so were meeting up in the cafe to spend some time as a 'family'. Of course muggins didn't know that, but she did ask if they wanted to chat or would prefer to spend the time together, but the lady in particular seemed very eager to chat. She was loving it, and we had a lovely time. She has travelled quite a bit of the world, and used to be a stage-actress. He is training to be an acupuncturist. They were both a bit new age in thier dress style - very individual - and I liked them. The lady asked for my email and wants to meet up again, which is great.

I had just said goodbye to my friend Yuki who I met in there before they sat down. Yuki brought me some chocolate from Sweden, where she has just returned from a short work trip. Her parents have invited me to thier business Christmas party on 14 December, free to me, in a posh hotel. I said I'd like to go, with Yuki too of course, though am not sure what I shall wear! Yuki and I talked about marriage and stuff too, which was good. I now feel like I know more of where she is coming from, and I sympathise with/for her. I thought that it was just in the church that single women outnumber single men. Well Yuki has done her research into statistics in Japan (she is a researcher after all!) and told me that until age 50 there are actually more single MEN in Japan. However where they all are is a different matter. She said they work long hours for companies, and in thier free time choose leisure pursuits that confine them to their house - like TV, computer games. So she rarely meets many who are single. But she is trying, and it is nice to see someone who is close to 40 and quite an individual wanting to be married and still, saying, 'well I hope I shall be'!

What do you do on a cold day in Japan?

First you stay indoors.

Then you drink hot milk.

Then you wrap up warm.

That was the sum of my day yesterday, as you can see from the pictures!

END-OF-THE-WEEK WAYS TO RELAX!

I haven't written for a while, but now the occasion is that I'm just quite pleased to be this relaxed on a Friday night. I have just 'got back' from being in Kare's room, just down the corridoor, and it's ten to two in the morning! admittAbly I was only invited in there at about 12.30pm, to help fix her heater, but that suited me well too! we chatted, saw some of her photos from her year so far in japan and her life before (quite long before some of them, even baby photos!)

I also had a good time last sunday, where I was priveledged to be invited into someone's home for a meal. I was going sightseeing with my new friend from football, and her auntie (a Japanese lady) asked me if I was busy that evening. so after our rather cold tour round the local sites, we descended on her house and had hot tea made Japanese style (it's made with green powder and is made with a whipping action, like with cream). and enjoyed the heat of the fire on a sunday afternoon, and learnt origami. I will try to attach a picture of my creations.

This evening I played football and gave the boys as good as I got... most of the time. There's a nice guy called Fred who's at my language school, a JET teacher, some other englush teachers, plus lots of nice Japanese guys too. and today we were even joined by two very good Japanese girls. My team leader Chang Kyu also came, which was pretty interesting and I think it's good.

Ok, better get to bed. It's been a hard week so I am pleased to finish it on a good note!

It's cold outside!

It is now a cold and dark night in Kyoto. Yesterday I was in my sandals for some of the day; today I was cold in my coat. I felt a bit lonely today, and missing people from home, especially my church community group and also some other key individuals! After class, as we crossed the road, I told Ko san that, from my class. I want to be better friends with her and we are kinda friends already, so i thought 'what better way to deepen the friendship a little', plus she had said something open about herself a few weeks ago. She agreed with me, and then Lin san joined us, so the three of us arranged to go sightseeing together on Saturday morning. Really nice to know I have that! And actually getting back here it was fine; I've just eaten and now am doing some kanji practice. I feel a bit disheartened that my kanji is really bad. I really struggle to remember them. But I must practice because otherwise that will always be my weak point, and I won't even pass the course if that is too weak (despite being strong in speaking and grammer, comparitively!)

Also, it was one of my classmate's birthday's today. Her parents have flown over from Switzerland for it. I presented her with a card and small present of some chopsticks, and she seemed really thrilled, so that was nice for me as she is cool.

School Trip!


Today we had lots of fun. We all have big smiles on our faces most of the time. Cos we went to UNIVERSAL STUDIOS JAPAN! Never having been to Disneyworld, it felt like what I imagine it is like (although I'm told it is bigger and better). As soon as we arrived there was piped music blasting out the tunes, and then inside we took lots of photos and stood in long queues to interact with Spiderman (3D movie style), see amazing stunts on water, and visit the Land of Oz and the Land of Snoopy, amoungst other things! Really REALLY good fun!

here's Waterworld!


recognise this chap?!

Yeh, we're going on a school trip tomorrow. A real, live 'ensoku'. And we're going all the way to Osaka, to see Univeral Studios Japan. How cool is that?! There's busloads of us going - all the biginner and intermidiate classes, and we're in groups of four (organised very japanese style, to precision), and each group has name. Ours is nashi (pear), as our class are all after fruits.

Today was god. After classes I met up with a Chinese girl for lunch, and it was a school festival, so our university was all decked out with funky artwork (it is an art university) installations, and tonnes of stalls all over the campus, with second hand clothes on sale, and lots of intersting looking food. We had our lunch there, as the university cafeteria was shut for the day. Apparently all Japanese universities stop for these annual festivals, and ours lasts four days. It's ace. I saw some Noh theatre (traditional Japanse theatre), some shimasen playing, some Japanese dancing samurai and geisha, a band, some ikebana (flower arranging). I also had coffee with a guy who came to our church once. He is thinking through some big issues to do with 'what is christianity underneath all the trimmings, and how could the church look in japan'. he has some cool dreams, which I encouraged him to pray about.

Today it was also a housemate's birthday. So tonight we celebrated with happy birthday songs and drinks. She was so touched she was crying. I think she had felt unloved all day and it just felt so good to have some love. 'Hatachi' (20) in Japan is a big age, which is why it has a special name. Now she can drink, smoke, and I don't know what else.

And... I have actually enjoyed making verbs into dictionary form tonight; just got really into it! And today in class we learnt '...nakerabanarimasen.' which means you MUST do something, regardless of the will of the actor. So for example, 'Passporto o misenakerbanarisen': 'you must show your passport'. It was a bit of a tongue twisetr but in the end we all got it.